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Your Romance and Partnership Horoscopes for February
Astro-Alert Happening This Month: Please Go To http://www.seventhsenseastrology.com/articlesandletters
To Find Out How Pluto’s Entrance Into Capricorn
Effects Your Sun Sign!

ARIES
(March 21 – April 19)

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Events in the beginning of February could change your perspective on issues involving members of your immediate social circle, Aries. The tone becomes quite serious for your taste. Pluto and Jupiter are in Capricorn now, which puts you at an interesting turning point in your career and also changes the way other people perceive you. Venus joins the other two planets in Capricorn so your love life is affected by the seriousness, and sometimes coldness of Saturn. Maybe you’ll work more then play until the second half of the month when Venus enters Aquarius. Then your ruler, Mars, the planet of passion, will have someone to play with.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Ideological differences are highlighted between you and people who you work with, or between you and those people with whom you have financial interests in common. People in those positions will have no problem speaking their minds even if you don’t want to hear what they have to say. However, you have Earth energy on your side, with your ruling planet Venus buddying up with Jupiter and Pluto in Capricorn, so lay low and just let them talk. The second half of the month creates stimulating, as opposed to annoying conversation. You may still not agree with or understand your partners’ feelings, so just hang in there until March when softer, more emotional energy returns.

GEMINI
(May 21 – June-21)

GEMINI (May21-June21)
The party is over, Gemini, when it comes to having your cake and eating it too. Well, that energy actually flew the coop in January, as the effects of Jupiter’s entrance into Capricorn took root. The beginning of February looks like to will be a time of balancing all of your resources and desires so that you can paint an accurate picture of where you are and where you want to be in relationships. The second half of the month will definitely bring clarity and answers pertaining to your romantic life when Mercury and Venus find each other again in Aquarius. The end of the month is also a great time to research opportunities in other States or countries that could bring you financial gain or career advancement.

CANCER
(June 22 – July 23)
CANCER (June 22-July 23)
Ok, if you think you have experienced intense emotional connections in the past then forget about them. Just wait till you see what Pluto has in store for you over the next several years! No one is saying it is going to be easy, mainly because Moonchildren are extra sensitive to emotional tides to begin with. But with a little persistence and a whole lot of faith in your ability to adapt, this month will prove to be the beginning of a whole new journey for you in the areas of partnerships, marriage, and romance. Just remember this: sometimes what we think is good for us isn’t, and sometimes what we fight against turns out to be the thing we needed most. As for the short term: The end of February will be a bit easier than the beginning because you tend to gel with Pisces energy better than Aquarian energy. The ball will be in your court more so next month when you feel like asserting yourself again, courtesy of Mars.

LEO
(July 23 – August 22)

LEO (July 23- Aug 22)
You are being asked to be of service to your loved ones in some way this month, Leo as Venus is under some heavy responsibility right now. Also, you have a back tracking Mercury in your marriage and partnership house, and it is being illuminated by the sun. The best you can do with all this is retrace your steps so that you do not repeat past mistakes in love. Nurturing your friendships are one area where you should focus a lot of your stamina. You will have until March to use the forward motion of Mars to your advantage. Watch your own health while you are out taking care of others, so that you don’t experience burnout by the time you go into a more introspective phase next month.

VIRGO
(August 23 – Sept 22)

VIRGO (Aug 23- Sept 22)
You will undergo a lot of transformation in the areas of your life that concern children, fun activities, romance and creativity over the next several years. February brings some situations wherein you can see this energy take root. You begin this month by reflecting on the limitations that you have been feeling in your romantic life and you end it with some clue as to what to do about them. In between you may have to take care of some of your own business and get your footing, but all in all, by the end of February you will have a better idea of what you want your partnerships to look like as the sun moves in to Pisces.

LIBRA
(Sept 23 – October 23)

LIBRA (Sept 23- Oct 23)
Are you longing for a romance from the past, Libra? You may find yourself looking backward quite a bit this month. You feel nostalgic for a past partner or for the close friends with whom you have not had much contact. My guess is you will be pleased by the middle of the month when opportunities come your way to rekindle those feelings and relationships. If you decide to make contact with old partners, be they romantic, career related, friendships or otherwise, only expect half of the effort to be returned. A lot has changed since you last visited these places in your past. I am sure that with the way the planets are lining up, you will be able to reconnect fully with at least one person, or set of circumstances, and you will be glad you made that call.

SCORPIO
(October 24 – Nov 21)

SCORPIO (Oct 24- Nov 21)
You might be headed for a little bit of an easier time financially, or at least that area of your life will be less chaotic. Now you can concentrate on what kind of lifestyle you want to have in the New Year. Socially, you might retreat in the first half of the month so you can reevaluate your approach to partners that have been close to you. The second half of the month is very good for finding someone you will begin to connect with on a deep level. It is a great time for bonding with one person both emotionally and mentally, so even if you are still feeling introspective, go scope out the social scene.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22- Dec 21)
Pesky Pluto is finally out of the way and Mars is in your corner this month, Sag. This should have you feeling like there is new hope in many areas of your life, not the least of which will be the areas concerning partnership, marriage, children, and your general freedom to express yourself creatively. Now that everything seems to be calming down a bit you can focus on your finances. Socially, you will have to, or want to, stay close to home this month. There still is the possibility that you will have to revisit a place you have recently traveled to, but it won’t be too far away. The first half of the month feels like the dust from 2007 is settling and the second half allows you to sit down and evaluate where you are and who you have become.

CAPRICORN
(Dec 22 – January 19 )

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22- Jan 19)
Jupiter and Venus making you mushy in the first half of the month, Cap? Yes, you. Emotional. Mushy. Intensely so. Pluto isn’t helping. This time of year is when the planets have mostly zipped past your sign but the three left over in February are going to make a big impression. Romantically, you are someone’s ideal, their crush, and/or their conquest. Whether he or she actually conquers you or not is up to you. Use your magnetism for good, please. Don’t let your mundane responsibilities suffer if you are overwhelmed by all of the energy pulsing around you. The second half of the month could have you jolting back to something that looks like reality as the sun enters Pisces. Short trips are suggested if some sincere bonding is necessary.

AQUARIUS
(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

AQUARIUS (Jan 20- Feb 20)
Your intuition is going to be right on this month. The same planetary alignment that ups your intuition could also lead to a foggy headedness that makes things you should have seen coming feel like major surprises. Romance and fun are in high gear and if you go out and make yourself part of the social scene, you’ll be electrified. Your self-image is changing and that will in turn shift your relationships with many people. Aquarians have moved into a period of being able to reach into the subconscious minds of both themselves and others more easily than before. You are encouraged to focus on your own inner changes, and not worry about what your partners are doing. The end of the month can bring a specific challenge in the areas of romance and a rift between you and someone you are close with may develop, or you might have to make a difficult and emotional decision.

PISCES
(Feb 19 – March 20)

PISCES (Feb 21- March 20)
You have a lot of action taking place in the areas of friends and close partners this month. It is a great time for buddying up with someone you never had the chance to share a real bond with before. Also, someone close to you who moves in and out of your life regularly will likely move in and then out again, or vice verse. It’s too difficult to tell when that person will reappear again so let it be a mystery. In the second half of the month, try not to take someone’s harsh words as a personal attack on you or on a loved one. The words may come from a trusted partner and may be communicated in a nasty manner, and the sun in your sign will still make you feel as if the incident is a personal attack. Don’t even worry about it. It’ll blow over and be forgotten.

———————————————————————————
If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” – dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People–
 What do you expect from such simple creatures?

*Your last name stays put.
*Wedding plans take care of themselves.
*Chocolate is just another snack.
*You can never be pregnant.
*You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
*You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
*Car mechanics tell you the truth.
*You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
*Same work, more pay.
*Wrinkles add character.
*Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
*People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
*One mood all the time.
*Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
*A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
*You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
*If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
*Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
*Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
*The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
*You only have to shave your face and neck.
*One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
*You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
*You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
*You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
*You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” – dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

If you’re looking for your soul mate and wondering if it’s the person you’ve been dating, you should pay attention to the little voice in your head if you’ve got some doubts. Here are the signs that your date is NOT The One, courtesy of MSN.com:

Sign #1: Your date overspends, and you’re stingy. If one of you shops to feel good, and the other prefers saving for the future, look out – it’ll only lead to irritation, frustration and arguments. Get out while your credit card balance is still manageable.

Sign #2: They just don’t get your jokes. If that obscure reference gets you polite but confused giggles on your first few dates, your differences might be met with frosty silence down the road. For example, if you’re a Garrison Keillor fan, and he’s more of a Borat type of guy – you’ll probably never be laughing at the same time.

Sign #3 : One of you wants kids and the other doesn’t. Some people assume having children goes along with love and marriage, but a lot of people are happy being a twosome ‘til death do them part. So, make sure you have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s important to know where you each stand on this impending deal-breaker. Just don’t do it on the FIRST date. That’ll send them packing before you have time to figure out their long-term potential.

Sign #4: Your lifestyles are too different. If you’re a corporate exec pulling in six-figures, and they’re content with a much more modest salary, that might be okay with you. If it’s not, don’t get their hopes up. Move on, or you’re always going to feel resentful and they’re always going to feel inadequate.

Sign #5: The relationship has you on edge. The right person should lift you up and strengthen you, not give you anxiety. Listen to your gut if it’s telling you something’s wrong.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” – dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

Here’s how to get on the fast track to recovery, courtesy of Weider Publications.

Clean house. Breakup coach Francisco Bujan says the first step to recover from a breakup is to reclaim your personal space and get rid of any traces of your ex’s presence. So, box up the “couples” photos on the fridge, ditch the cologne in the bathroom, and give away that case of beer. Removing the relationship reminders should reduce the number of flashbacks you get every day.

Stop obsessing. Psychiatrist Dr. Laura Grashow says it’s not productive to think about what went wrong over and over again because eventually you’ll just convince yourself that they were wrong and you were right. Instead, she suggests finding something constructive from the hurtful things that were said. For example, if they complained that “you never listen,” practice this on your friends: Listen to them for five minutes without interrupting. Eventually, you’ll become comfortable listening to anybody and your next significant other will thank you for it.

Get it off your chest. Take one week – only one – and unload your angst on the people who care about you. Bujan says that most friends can only take one or two heavy-duty conversations. So, consider writing down all your woes on paper. Then crumpling it up and throwing it away. Once your week is up, spare your friends and look for other sources of comfort, like a family member or a therapist.

Hit the gym – twice a day if necessary. Dr. Daniel Amen says that exercise is the best way to feel better naturally because physical activity boosts the brain chemicals that make you feel happy – and releases compounds that kill pain. Even better, you’ll be working on getting healthier and looking better. After all, everyone knows that looking good is the best revenge.

By Judith and Jim

You can have The New Intimacy in your life. And, it’s easier than you
think!

All you have to do is begin practicing the first of these ten steps. When you feel comfortable, add the next one that attracts you most. Before longyou’ll notice a difference in your confidence, self-respect, your capacity to give and receive love and, of course, the intimacy that makes it allworthwhile.

See what magic you create!

Step 1: ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS.  Do you have trouble accepting compliments?
Most people do. The first step toward The New Intimacy is to pay attention
to every compliment you receive — from anyone. A compliment is
love-in-shorthand. Practice accepting compliments with a simple, “Thank
you.” Your heart will open, you will begin to feel generous and eager to
give the gift of taking what someone wants to give to you. Then, watch the
world become a place you only imagined was possible.

Step 2: NOTICE DIFFERENCES. Differences hold the key to a richer and more
meaningful life. Our differences are the celebration of all that is
possible, including you.  As you practice the basic truth that — the other
person is not you — so that you have to discover who he or she is, you will
move beyond isolation, loneliness and the yearning for connection. The
simple act of paying attention to how different other people are from you
will change your life forever.

Step 3: EXPRESS YOURSELF. No one just like you has ever lived before or
will ever live again. That’s much more than a superficial observation. It is
as profound a truth as there is in this life. When you appreciate just how
unique you are, you will understand the importance of never shortchanging
the truth of what you feel, what you believe and what you desire. You will
never pass this way again just as you are. Express yourself. Give your
partner, and yourself, the chance to find out what it is that makes you you.

Step 4: RESERVE JUDGMENT. It’s so easy for us to get caught up insisting on
what   we think is right, or sensible, or appropriate. Those are judgments.
When you make them in a knee-jerk fashion, without thinking, without taking
the time to find out if they really apply, you not only wipe out the person
you hurl them at, you sentence yourself to the solitary confinement of being
the way you’ve always been. If you yearn for more from your life, one of the
simplest ways you can have more is to reserve judgment and let others and
the world become your teacher. When you take the time to reserve judgment,
you will liberate yourself from the solitary confinement of being the way
you’ve always been.

Step 5: LISTEN ACTIVELY. Talking is easy for most people. Listening is
another   story. To listen actively you have to tune in to your partner’s
experience from his or her own point of view. That’s the only way you’ll
know what’s really going on. Otherwise all that happens is you stay stuck in
your own world, waiting for your turn. So, open to a possibility that’s
different from your own. You know how boring mutual monologues can be!

Step 6: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. In any relationship, two people are always
teaching   each other exactly how they expect to be treated right from the
first moment. So, you have impact. Every relationship is co-created, that’s
the beauty of being with someone. Why waste your time pretending to be
powerless. That’s only a game you play with yourself. When you take care
with who you are, you give your partner the opportunity to care for you.

Step 7: DISAGREE.  Can you say “No” when you have to? Or do you keep your
frustrations hidden until you explode? If so, you’re being disrespectful of
you and your partner. Differences are bound to rise in any relationship.
They are a chance to define who you are  distinct from your partner. Make a
point of voicing your disagreement. Stop yourself from being invisible.

Step 8: LOVE EVERYDAY. Don’t let any day go by without expressing your love
in   some way. It doesn’t take much. Just give small kindnesses! Little
gifts, surprise notes, special snuggling, calls to the office, you name it.
These small moments of affection will keep your love alive and open your
conscious creativity to ever more delights. After all, what’s the point of
being with someone and not enjoying it!?

Step 9: ASK, ASK, ASK. It’s not true that if you have to ask for what you
want it won’t
mean as much. That’s an adolescent belief. In a real relationship, your
partner can’t hear what you’re not saying. Trust enough to make yourself
available to the relationship and to getting what you want. When you hold
back and then are disappointed, you only creat resentment.

Step 10: INCLUDE CONFLICT. When two people live together over time,
conflicts are
inevitable. If you deny that fact, you will suffocate the life out of your
relationship. The point is, how can you make them productive? Conflict is
just like the sand in an oyster — annoying, irritating, but you have to
have it to get the pearl!

Step 11: BE CURIOUS. Genuine curiosity is the finest aphrodisiac there is.
When   your partner wants to know who you really are, the good and the
not-so-good, the whole package, what finer compliment can you ask for? And
when you let your partner in to your thoughts and feelings, what finer gift
can you give in turn?

Step 12: RECEIVE LOVE. Love may not always show up just as you expect. In
fact, it’s   unavoidable that your partner will express love is ways you
hadn’t anticipated. He  is not you. She is not you. If you only want love to
come the way you want it, you’ll only get what you’ve always had. Real love
is a wonder that will come from beyond your imagination. Open and receive
it!

If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” – dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

The Breakup Test: 5 Questions to Ask Before Giving ‘Em the Boot
By Elina Furman

Is it better to be the breaker-upper or the dumpee? With so much attention being paid to those poor people dumped every year, no one ever takes time to think about what it’s like to be the dumper. Hardly an enviable position, the decision to break up with someone can breed feelings of guilt, paralysis and depression.
To alleviate some of this anxiety, here’s a list of 5 questions to ask yourself before you give someone the boot.

Question 1: Has There Been a Major Change in My Life?

Relocation, career change, an illness — any of these factors can trigger problems in a relationship.

Relocation, career change, an illness — any of these factors can trigger problems in a relationship. If you’re stressed out about something, be it a job or family problem, it’s all too tempting to generalize these feelings to include your partner. It’s very easy to think that if you got out of this relationship you would feel better. In reality, you need to deal with the problem rather than blame it on your partner.

Question 2: What’s My Happiness Ratio?
Being blissfully in love with your partner 24/7 is a wonderful concept in theory, but as we all know, real-world relationships rarely live up to these expectations. Many people assume that they have to be 100 percent satisfied with their partners in order to stick with them, but good luck ever finding this perfect scenario!
A better strategy would be to adopt the 80 percent rule. Ask yourself:

Am I satisfied with my partner 80 percent of the time or more? If the answer is yes, then you’re working with pretty good odds. If the answer is no, you may want to consider moving on.

Question 3: Is He/She Abusive?
Abusive behavior comes in many forms. There’s physical abuse where someone hits, slaps or shoves you. A verbally abusive partner degrades you with harsh words and insults. And the most difficult to identify and pinpoint: psychological abuse. This form of abuse can involve overly controlling behavior, emotional blackmail, and episodes of extreme jealousy. If your partner engages in any of the above behavior, don’t just walk — run from the relationship.

Question 4: Have I Expressed My Frustration?
Many of us think that if our partner was right for us, he/she would be able to understand our needs intuitively without us ever having to communicate. While it would be great if our partners could just read our minds, the truth is that few of us are telepathic.
Good communication is required in every relationship.

So before you give your partner their walking papers, make sure to discuss your doubts and concerns so they have a chance to make it up to you.

So before you give your partner their walking papers, make sure to discuss your doubts and concerns so they have a chance to make it up to you.

Question 5: Am I Willing to Work at It?
Whatever your gripes or complaints, there’s one factor that can make or break your union: your mutual desire to work on the relationship. If you’re not both committed to improving your quality of life together, there’s very little hope for the future.
And remember, actions speak louder than words. If both of you make a concerted effort to work on the relationship and make the necessary changes that are required, there’s really no reason to call it quits.

By Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD

 
There are six truths that can make your love life far more fabulous. Keep these in mind – and you’ll be on your way to having the most fabulous dating experience possible.
 
1. You Can’t Really Be Rejected
When you start to feel rejected, re-think the idea. Just because you
don’t like asparagus doesn’t mean the asparagus feels rejected. It knows
it’s only the gourmet who will appreciate its special taste.
 
2. Expectations Are Dangerous
The other person is not you and will always flunk your test when you
expect that he or she will match your expectations. The fun of meeting new
people is in finding out about their unique interests, life history, and how
your life can be enhanced from knowing them.
 
3. Everyone Has Been Wounded
Men and women are from Earth. We are not aliens from different planets.
Remember that everyone has been wounded in their lives and what you see on
the surface is often misleading.
 
4. Why Pretend
The best and easiest way to find out if someone is really interested in
you is to tell your truth, be who you are, rather than pretend to be a “good
date” which is no fun, always creates anxiety, and it’s false advertising.
 
5. Your Integrity vs Being “Nice”
First and foremost, take good care of yourself when you are meeting
people and dating. Do not give up what you believe in, do not allow yourself
to “just go along” with what the other person wants in order to be nice — because, no matter how the date goes, your integrity is the most important
thing you need to go home with.
 
6. What Do You Really Want?
Be as clear as you can be about what you really want. Is it to be loved
and respected and enjoyed for the rest of your life? Or is it the physical
beauty of a woman or the bank book of a man? Whatever you want is up to you
— but do not confuse material values with love.
 
Now you can get out there on solid ground, have a great time, and trust you’re
dating with the kind of pizzazz that will eventually attract your lifelong love.
***
Discover more about Judith & Jim’s Smart Dating approach at

***

If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” –
dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

By Judith and Jim
Dating can be a nightmare when you rely on old-fashioned ideas of what it means to be a “good date” – catering to the other person, worried about making a good impression, selling yourself short at every turn.
 
But when you follow these Tips for Smart Dating, you set yourself up to succeed on every date AND attract the right kind of person that you’re looking for and who’s looking for you.  
 
1. Beware of the person who comes on too fast.  Chances are he/she is “in love with love”—not you.  There is no such thing as intimacy at first sight.
 
2. Pay attention to your need for instant chemistry and don’t limit  yourself to falling only for “your type.”  You are probably caught up in the challenge of conquering someone who is not very available.
 
3. Avoid creating romantic scenarios during early dates.  Don’t play sexy music.  Stay away from darkly lit, elegant restaurants.  Wait a while before giving  flowers or gifts.  Find out more about the person to determine if you’re really interested.
 
4. Hold off on sex, even kissing.  If your relationship proves to be real, there will come a time when love-play actually means something.  Don’t confuse heat with heart.
 
5. Abandon the ritual of the man being the one to call, ask for the date, plan and pay. One of the best ways to protect against the traps of false romance is to make dating an equal opportunity event.  Share the asking, planning, paying and even driving.  Then you’re both on equal footing as competent, available adults.
 
6. Avoid trying to entertain or impress your family, friends and acquaintances with stories about your dates.  The drama of the story can confuse your perception of what really happened.
 
7. If you’ve just started dating someone, and you’re fantasizing about your future together, please stop.  That is only make-believe and will keep you off balance in reality.
 
8. Go on non-romantic dates—walks in the park, sports events, charity fundraisers, museums or bookstores.  The point is to get to know what your date is like in his or her real life.
 
9.Express your sincere feelings. If you enjoy being with someone, let them know. Then pay close attention to how your comments are received. When they are welcomed and reciprocated, then you can begin to explore what it actually means to each of you to be together. At the heart of Smart Dating, the truth really does set you free to create exactly the kind of relationship you really want.     
 
When you follow these nine tips for Smart Dating, you can relax and know that you are in charge of yourself and the positive outcome of every date you go on.   
 
***

If you’re fed up with dating games that leave you frustrated and confused,
check out “Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed” –
dedicated to men and women who are ready for the best love has to offer!

By Judy and Jim

Have you felt tortured by being single – certain there’s something wrong with you?
Perhaps your family bugs you about why you’ve not yet gotten married, acting like you’re weird.

BUT the fact is there’s nothing wrong with you being single. It’s simply a quality of your current life.

And you never know when and why you’ll meet the person who will forever more change your life for the better.

For example, we feel that we were destined to be together – but Jim was not available until the time we met on a blind date over 20 years ago.
He was involved in 2 other marriages and a couple other semi-serious relationships – and there was no way to rush the process that had to unfold in order for our marriage to occur.

So please remember that there’s a larger story going on for you than you are aware of. And don’t come down on yourself – or allow anyone else to do it either!
In the meantime, we strongly suggest you check out our tested and proven program –
Smart Dating for Success Every Time – Guaranteed!

Now we’ll discuss how to make sure she shows up in the first place and doesn’t “flake”



First, ask yourselves this:



* Have you ever made plans with a woman and not have her show up?



* Have you ever gotten a phone call earlier that day telling you that she “has to work” or “isn’t feeling well”?



* Have you ever made plans with a woman and then she told you to “call to confirm”

If any of that applies to you, you need to really pay attention here. This will banish flakes forever.

First, let’s review the first three phases of The Emotional Progression Model:

Attraction



Qualification



Comfort



The biggest mistake most men make in terms of Day2s is going for the phone number as soon as she is attracted (in Attraction) and not pushing the relationship forward. Then they assume that the woman will meet them again, and they can continue where they left off. Only to get “flaked”. They never meet up.



Why? Let’s look at the situation from a woman’s perspective:



She goes out to a restaurant with her friends. While waiting at the bar, an interesting man approaches her. 3-5 minutes later (about how long it should take to get some attraction going), he asks for her number so they can “hang out sometime”. At that moment, she genuinely would “hang out” with this man “sometime”…



…but it doesn’t turn out that way.



See, going out “sometime” is different from going out Thursday night. To see her “sometime” all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That’s a pretty low standard, so of course she’ll agree to it. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you. However, most worthwhile women rarely have “nothing else to do”.



So, to see her at a specific time, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could be doing, like friends, hobbies, work, other dates, or relaxing at home. That’s a tough standard to meet in 3-5 minutes. Especially since over the course of the night she met a bunch of other men. Did you think you were the only man to notice her? She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn’t have time to go on 9 dates this week.



*A woman is going to look for reasons NOT to go out with you*



Remember, meeting up with strange men is scary for a woman. First, there are issues of physical safety. If she’s not comfortable with you, she may feel the risk of date rape or worse. Less dramatically is the hyper-developed fear that many women have of being in awkward social situations. Women do not generally go by themselves to interact socially with strangers. So they bring a friend. To a man, the idea that you might not have a great time with this woman is irrelevant. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Maybe you don’t care, because she’s beautiful. Either way, you’ll never know if you don’t meet up. Worst case scenario is you cut it short early and go home. Men don’t agonize and worry over whether it will be socially awkward or not. But many women do, and we need to take this into account.



It should be clear by now that a quick interaction leading to some basic attraction and “we should hang out sometime” is rarely going to lead an exceptionally desirable woman into seeing you again. She fears safety, she fears social awkwardness, and who is this guy anyway? She’s busy and she only met you for five minutes. If she’s really trying to convince herself not to show up, she’ll wonder why you’d even call her when you only met for a few minutes and you know so little about her (after all, you spent that time attracting her as opposed to learning about her). Are you desperate? Or are you a player?



To fix that mistake, make sure you get into Comfort during the first meet.



I don’t care if you only have 10 minutes. You just have to play faster. You need to qualify and get into comfort for your “time bridge” (seeing her again) to stick. If you qualify and get into comfort, you minimize ALL of the objections we just discussed.



The second biggest mistake you can make is to go for the Day2 unnecessarily



There is nothing in Emotional Progression Model that mandates meeting her again at a different time (a Day2). Sure, you may have to, like if you meet her on your lunch break and have to get back to work, but a lot of guys are used to thinking of getting a woman’s phone number as something special. It’s not. Phone numbers do not lead to happy social lives; relationships do.



A phone number is a tool. It’s not a goal. It’s not even an intermediate goal. Don’t ever feel proud of yourself for getting a phone number.



In a way, a phone number is an admission of failure, even if it’s sometimes an unavoidable failure. A phone number says “I am not trying to move this relationship forward right now. I am taking the risk that she will flake and am hoping to continue this later. In the worst case, I lose the relationship with her. In the best case, she meets me for the Day 2 and I’m more or less where I am now”



Make sense? A phone number never gains you anything. A Day 2 never gains you anything. All it does is give you another chance to push the relationship forward if the logistics weren’t right to do so when you met her.



Here’s an example from the bootcamp in LA last weekend. We took the guys to a lounge in Hollywood and one of them was deep in conversation with Suzanne, a very fit Asian woman. Suzanne’s friends were happy for her to talk to our guy, because he had already won them over in A2 (as per the Mystery Method). It was about midnight. There was no time pressure. But when our student “ran out of things to say” he took her phone number and rejoined us.



This was a bad decision. All the phone number was going to do was help them meet up again to spend time together. However, they were already in the middle of spending time together. Psychologically, he wanted to “lock in” what he had “gained” so far: her willingness to give him her phone number. That’s a rookie mistake.



Of course, we didn’t let him leave Suzanne. We led him back to her with instructions to escalate until rejection. When the lights came on an hour later, they left to get pizza. And then to go home together. There was no need for a time bridge.



He made dozens of mistakes in picking up Suzanne. We were watching him the whole time and went over them the next day. However, because he had the guts to go for it, and because he did enough things right that he’d learned that day in our seminar, he got the girl.



Ready for the good news and the bad news?



The good news is that now that you know this, you’ll never make these two mistakes again.



The bad news is that you’ll still need Day 2s, and you’ll still get some flakes. To banish flakes entirely, you need to use these ADVANCED tactics:



* Have something specific to do. She should plan to help you shop for your niece’s birthday on Saturday, not “hang out sometime”



* Bait her into suggesting the Day 2. Let her chase you. Drop little hints (“I’m going to X” or “I’d love to do Y”) and see if she tries to become part of those plans.



* Don’t make the day2 (or the phone number exchange) the last part of your interaction. That *feels* like a pickup. Stay at least 5 minutes afterwards.



* Engage her friends. When she goes home her friends should be excited for her that you guys are meeting up later and not wondering who that creepy guy was. To a woman, her friends’ approval for the men she dates is very important. Much more important than peer group approval is for men.



* Focus on the Day2, not the phone number. The phone should be an afterthought (and isn’t always necessary, although you take a big risk by not getting it). If she’s all excited to come see you at a book reading you’re going to be at the next night, you don’t need her phone number. If she likes you, she’ll come.



* Set up callback humor. If you have a running joke during your interaction where you have a nickname for her, and later you phone her and call her by that nickname, it often triggers a reversal to the previous emotional state. She’ll be back in the world of being out, having fun, and meeting men, as opposed to whatever mundane thing she was actually doing when you called.



* If she’s drinking, address it. Tease her that she won’t remember anything because she’s drunk. Pretend that you guys would have so much fun together, but she had to ruin it by being drunk and making it so it would be weird when you call. Bait her into convincing you that she’s not all that drunk, that she’s really into you, and she can’t wait to hear from you. After she’s said that, it becomes a lot harder for her to be flaky. Warning, don’t do this unless the girl actually IS really drunk. It will annoy her if she’s just had a drink or two.



While you’re learning all of this stuff, you’ll still get flakes. Here’s what to do when she calls to tell you “I have to work tonight”



* Don’t be upset. Don’t lecture her. She doesn’t care. All you’ll succeed in doing is making her momentarily feel badly. She’ll feel better once the next guy gives her attention, and she’ll associate negative feelings with you. Remember, she’s canceling because she’s not that into you yet. [99% of the time, this is the case. Would she be canceling if it were Brad Pitt?]. Making her feel badly is only going to make her less into you.



* Just in case that wasn’t clear. You planned to meet a girl at 6? You had to leave work early? Fight traffic? Cut your workout short? Miss your favorite show? Tough. She doesn’t care. That’s not her problem. If you tell her all of this, you just look like even more of a tool because you rearranged your life for a date with her.



* Act like a guy who has lots of women interested in him and pursuing him. If that was you, and a girl flaked, your reaction would be “OK cool” because you have lots of other girls who would love to see you and more than likely whatever it was you were going to do was something you were going to be doing anyway with cool friends. If you don’t think you have that attitude down properly, try canceling the next time you set up a first date with a random girl. Listen for her casual reaction. It didn’t ruin her day. It shouldn’t ruin yours.



* A phrase I’ve had a lot of success with (credit Savoy) is “No problem, I’ll invite someone else”. Obviously don’t use this on a third or fourth date, but when it’s still casual, it’s perfect.



Flaking sucks. I want you guys to banish it forever. Your social life will improve dramatically. For even more tips and tricks for making your life easier with women, check out the Magic Bullets ebook.