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“Hey what’s up?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

Do your unreturned text messages to women look anything like this? If so, shame on you. The 3 major problems with texts such as these are this:

1) Misinterpretation: “What are you doing tonight?” is by NO MEANS an invitation to hang out and WOMEN KNOW THIS. First of all, for all she knows, you sent that text out to 8 other women. Women understand that men send out texts like this to “feel out their options” without ever trying to commit to something. Until you put something on the table e.g. “I want to see you tonight” a woman will simply read the former text as you just checking her availability or just friendly chatter.

2) Too spontaneous:  “Where are you right now?” If you really want to see a woman, this text rarely works because it by no means tells a woman that you want to see her. It seems like it would though, seeing as you’re trying to locate her but again, you’re just gathering info rather than being a man and telling her you want to see her. Tip: This is more of a reason why a guy should just pick up the phone and call.

3) Role- Reversal: More often than not, indirect texts are a quick way to get her acting like a man and you acting like a woman. What I mean is that if she likes you, she may end up getting too giddy and asking YOU to hang out or to meet up. Now while all this may sound like a dream come true, I assure you it’s not. Be a MAN and let her be a WOMAN. By acting masculine and taking control you allow her to be feminine.

Back when texting wasn’t an option, people were forced to do things the old fashioned way: by picking up the phone or telling someone something face to face. And while texting can provide convenience, it also – unfortunately – serves as the platform for a cop out or misinterpretation. But if you are going to go the route of texting, BE DIRECT and choose your texts wisely.

Antonia
NYDC Female Perspective Coach