SCAMS- NIGERIAN ROMANCE- Personal Ads- Free or Pay or Scam?
With most things, you get what you pay for. Rightfully so, many of you might believe that a paid personal ad site would have higher quality people than the many free ones now available.
I used to believe the same thing…. but not any more. I always like to stay up to date on the issues facing the singles community and the majority of people who attend my Weekenddating.com NYC Speed Dating and Long Island Singles events also do the online personals.
- What a found is that a good majority of the people on the free sites (OK Cupid, POF) are also on the pay sites such as Match. I also found one very important thing that the pay sites have that the free ones do not……………….NIGERIAN ROMANCE SCAMMERS!! (If you never heard of this, do a google search for Nigerian Romance Scam).
- These scammers ignore the free sites and focus on the pay sites such as the one that begins with “M” because they figure you may have some money if you are paying for a site.
I thought spotting these fake ads was pretty obvious, but decided to outline it here after my friend Joe got all excited by the many responses he received within the first few days of joining “M.” Joe is a decent looking guy, but not model material, and it seemed odd that he was getting so many responses so quickly. Sure enough, after reviewing the messages with him, it was pretty clear that the responses were fake.
So how can you easily spot a fake ad or response?  This is for the guys.. Ladies, if you have some tips, please comment below.
- If the woman sends you an instant message or message first.. RED FLAG. Now I am not saying women do not initiate first contact. However it is still usually the guy that is the one who reaches out first.
- 2) Look at the age range of the guy the woman says she wants. If it is a very wide range of 20 years or more- RED FLAG.
- 3) If she is looking for a guy much older– RED FLAG. Not to say some women are interested in a much older man, but when the woman is 35 and says she is looking for a guy ages 40-60, your red flag bells should be going off.
- 4) Look at the height of the guy she is looking for. These scammers almost always leave the height 3-0 to 8-0, which is the default setting. This is a very easy tell tale sign and a major RED FLAG because most women are pretty particular about dating a guy who is shorter than them.
OK, not rocket science, but would hate for anyone to be taken advantage of. If the ad you are looking for has one or more of these signs, be careful.
All the best!
Jay
www.weekenddating.com
718-757-6933
It’s not just Nigerian, but I’ve had issues with scams on the big EH site.
Red flags for women: email address on the first page, wanting to go right to open messages, lots of typos and misused words and misspellings, sentences that don’t make sense, etc.
Can’t wait to meet you, has been waiting for you foreever. His child is in boarding school in another country, his wife cheated on him, he got divorced and then she died of some horrible malady (sympathy, tugging on your heart strings, etc). Promises to make your dreams come true (but you must give him money so he can buy an oil rig in Malaysia…)
Jay’s red flags hold true for women, too. He’s outside your height requirement or age limit. His pictures look either posed or too sexy. He talks sex before you actually meet (can’t wait to touch you, etc.) Yes, it sounds good, and pulls your heart strings, but you need to be very careful. If he asks before you meet how much money you have, how wealthy is your family, if you have investments, your credit score, etc. Also, some don’t want small children living with you, or you to be close to your family. Don’t make your profile make you sound lonely and desperate. That’s a big red flag for a scammer to take advantage. Be leery of yahoo email addresses and MagicJack phone service, He won’t give you a phone number, or say the times you can reach him are not the usual evening hours (different time zone).
I agree with the above… I have had a few, too. Men will always pull at your heart strings. They want money for whatever you can think of (weird stories). They say they are in love with you before they even meet you. They ask for money before they even meet you. But they say they will get it back to you. The pictures are fake for sure. They are usually doctured or of someone else.
I recommend talking or e-mailing or even IMing first to rule this out. Some of the stories I heard were: I am stuck in England and need money to get out of here, but I have the money at home they just won’t take a check. (They have no one else to send the check to them.) Military guys saying they need money for satellite phones to call me. (I heard after that happened that they get these for free.) There were many more, but I can’t even remember. Just screen through and don’t meet everyone you talk to!
You’re hitting a real sore spot with this topic. As far as being mainly on pay sites, male scammers were more abundant on the free sites I had joined. Mingles, POF and even a Christian site. Although the Christian site is not free, it is dirt cheap to be a paying member. The red flags that were always on their profiles were that they were “godfearing” and had an all American occupation. One guy even built log cabins, lol. In the profile or in an e-mail they want to get to know you “more better” (incorrect English). Immediately after contact they want you on Yahoo IM. One guy grabbed me on the IM on a dating site itself. My first question to him was, “Where are you writing me from at this moment?” Even though his profile said he resided in New York City, he answered he was in Afghanistan but would be home in two weeks. I told him to write me in two weeks. Then he tried to bait me even further. I then replied, “I will continue to correspond with you if you can answer a question and you have 30 seconds to answer it. He agreed. My question was, “What is another name for frankfurter?” I gave him more than 30 seconds, but he couldn’t answer it immediately and so I closed the IM session. I think any New Yorker knows that answer.
I would say 75% of the contacts I made on the Christian site were Nigerian scammers. I had always thought they wouldn’t be on the higher paying sites like Match, but I guess I was wrong.
Nigeria tops the list as the highest risk country in the world for fraud and scams. The above red flags are accurate. If you meet someone online and they fall in love overnight, and everything seems too good to be true, this is a major red flag. If the individual is working or living or traveling abroad, there is also an increased risk. During the entire process when dating online, be sure to be cautious about revealing your personal data. Remember that anything you share online, on any site or to any person via email, could in fact be used again you in the future. Profiles are easy to fake, and it can be hard to know who you’re dealing with. When in doubt, contact a reputable private investigation firm for a comprehensive dating background check if you feel the relationship has potential. This way you can verify if the person is who he or she claims to be, and be able to make an informed decision about the relationship. In the event of fraud, it can save you from heartache and financial loss.