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You asked her for her number because you thought she seemed interested. After all, she talked to you at the bar for a good ten minutes! She asked you questions, she was even laughing. But then when you went for the moment of truth – you ask her for her number – and you get the old “Oh, I think you’re nice but (insert excuse of her not being able to give you her number here)”.
What happened?
You weren’t reading her signs correctly is what happened.
When you think of flirting, you’re probably thinking of some clever line that will get her attention and make her interested in you. No such luck, real flirting is a lot more sublte then that. A women wont hold a giant sign over her head that says “I am INTERESTED”. Hence it is up to you to learn now to pick up the subtle clues and then how to act on it. Acting without a clue is not a good way to spend your time.
Body language is a huge determing factor in whether or not her flirting is a sign of interest. When she was chatting with you at the bar was she facing you? Like really facing you – with her shoulders and or hips. Chances are she wasn’t.
But let’s pretend for a second that she was facing you with her hips. That at least means you had her intellectual or social interest, but here’s how to know if you have her SEXUAL interest.
1) She’s touching you: I’m a woman, I will vouch for this. We only touch guys we’re interested in. We might be polite if you touch us, heck we might not even pull away because we don’t want to hurt your feelings even if we’re not fully ok with you touching us. But the reality is this: if all of a woman’s other signs aren’t following suit to tell you “I’m interested” (strong eye contact, reapplying our lipstick on our way back from the bathroom, ignoring our friends), then we’re probably…just not that into you. At NYDC we actually have an entire track dedicated to improving your flirting, we find it extremely important for a guy to know how to flirt non-verbally.
2) She moves closer: Us women like our space. We don’t want some guy we don’t like all up in it. Therefore, if we’re voluntarily moving our chair in a litle closer to you, we’re interested.
3) Actions > words: Has a women ever told you she doesn’t go home with a guy on the first date and then, whoa, next thing you know it she’s in your bed? Women can be all talk. After all, we love to talk! Not to mention, we’re extremely emotional creatures. Just as our emotions change, the words that come out of our mouth change. We can’t help it. That’s why its more important to pay attention to what we’re physically doing. Our expressions (and microexpressions especially), are subconscious. While we might be able to control what comes out of our mouth, we can’t control how our bodies respond to a guy.
Homework: Next time you’re flirting with a woman or think she’s flirting with you, pay more attention to the orientation of her body. And then, see how much of your flirting attempts (touching, moving closer, teasing) that she reciprocates.
To request a FREE one on one evaluation, go to: www.NewYorkDatingCoach.com , and mention weekend dating in the contact
form or call 646-862-1784
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