It is Time To Ditch The Dating Checklist
Specialists say having a dating “checklist” could finish up backfiring on us. Find out why it could be the reason lots of of us are still single!
Do you have a “dating checklist?” In other words, do you have a list of preferences that you “check off” to select if anyone is date-worthy? Like “must love canines,” “must be in nice shape” or “must make lots of funds?”
According to psychologist Dr. Seth Myers, it’s normal to have a basic checklist to help mentally steer you toward “the one.” Because humans are hard-wired to seek things that are predictable since they associate predictability with safety.
But Dr. Myers says, using a checklist could backfire & become the reason you stay single. For example, a checklist is all right for persona traits, but you should not have a checklist for physical traits. In the event you do, you are focusing much on superficial qualities that won’t maintain a relationship. However, all of us have a sure type of person we’re drawn to, & that is all right.
But physical preferences ought to be wishes not needs & knowing the difference between the is crucial. For example, it is all right to need anyone with supermodel looks, but that should not be a necessity or a deal-breaker. Because in that case, you may overlook someone’s character flaws because they have Channing Tatum-looks.
However, you can be rigid along with your checklist when it comes to persona & character traits; those ARE needs like Mr. Right NEEDS to be reliable, kind & adaptable. Those are qualities a relationship needs if it is going to last.
So be flexible about your wishes, like: “I need a man with a nice job as well as a nice body.” But prioritize your needs like: “I NEED a man with integrity & intelligence.” Because the man with integrity & intelligence can get a nice job & hit the gym. But if they doesn’t have those qualities to start with, you’ll be married to a rich set of abs & that won’t make you happy in the long run.
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