If a man can’t pay, what is he good for?
Posted on July 22, 2010, 4:51 pm, by Jayrose, under
Uncategorized.
From About.com
If man can’t pay what is he good for then
- I don’t know what world you live in, but in my world men always pay, 1st date, 2nd, 10th, whatever. I am a lady and why would I date not a gentleman? And gentlemen always pay. Single ladies have to have a job, spend lots of money on cloth/shoes/make up/hair products+hair salons/fitness centers/tanning salons/fashion magazines etc. jut to look beautiful. For who? For MALES! Also, every male expects to have free good time, free sex and free psychological session. And what do we get in return??? You don’t make us favors by paying, no. Maybe we’d much rather sit at home by tv wearing night gown, instead of spending time on getting ready and rushing somewhere… And what do we get in return? Option to split a bill? It’s funny! We should be getting presents just because we turned up. Married females in 21st century have a job, raise kids, look after the house, cook, and have sex with husbands even if they don’t want to! So-if males can’t even pay for dates, then what are they good for?
- Midea
The question is not whether men should pay…they should “want” to court a lady — especially in the beginning stages, and take the initiative in being a gentleman. Moreso, if the man is the one “asking the woman to go out”. In that case, he would pick the place, make the plans, and therefore–SHOULD pay. Yes…it’s 2010…but if a man wants to go dutch – in the very beginning–and he is counting every dime and nickel he is spending so soon in the so-called relationship–then he should cut his losses–and stay solo – where he belongs to be – a singleton. A date doesn’t have to be costly or put someone in huge amounts of debt…if a man is creative enough–he can suggest a simple picnic, there are so many events in the city now–free events…where he can bring a bottle of wine – and watch a movie outdoors….go to the beach (if the woman is confident enough to go)…or go rollerblading or bike riding along the boardwalk. If a guy is complaining about the cost of $20 lunch or the entrance fee to a beach–he should NOT be dating at all. End of story. Because…yes, I do agree–being a woman that maintains her looks, by going to the distance can be expensive. Unless you are a woman that is disheveled, doesn’t take care of herself, no pedis/manis, doesn’t get her hair trimmed, etc. If a guy wants to nickel and dime everything – then he should be expecting to be “just friends”. nothing else…and not expect a woman to view him in a romantic sense. A man that is cheap like that – loses all appeal to mostly any sensible woman that has her act together. Even in 2010, the most modern woman wants to feel that “swept off her feet” effect going on. And not as if they are out with their gal pals.
Yes, it is 2010 but WOMEN make plenty of money themselves. I agree that whoever asks the other person out should pay. However, it is not a womans automatic right to be paid for because she has breasts and a vagina. Bull shit.
There are too many women out there who EXPECT that the man pays. They do not even show gratitude and thank the guy. They just expect it! How about at least making the fake attempt to leave the tip? You know, that move where you pretend that you want to pay something, but are just testing the guy to see if he accepts.
I believe in being traditional at the beginning and pay, however it would be nice for the ladies to understand that we work plenty hard for our money and it pisses us off if you do not at least say thank you.
Who said anything about not extending a gracious “thank you”? Totally different – than offering to pay for $10 check. By the way, when “some” women offer to pay part of the tab or at the very least offer to give a nice tip–it’s not “a fake gesture”…from your post–you come across rather jaded and bitter. And yes…women also work hard for their salaries. Not sure which women you are encountering–but they have a sense of entitlement. What I am referring to – is the idea of courtship. It’s refreshing and nice when a man makes the effort to initiate plans – and by that – if you re-read my comment, it can be something as simple as a picnic, a museum, a bike ride…those ideas are not expensive at all…but they do require some thought! Other than suggesting the typical “drinks” at a bar. it is a lady’s perogative to want to be courted by someone that is by nature a gentleman who doesn’t believe every woman out there is out for some free meal. There are plenty of great women out there who are working professionals, capable of going out on their own, but are truly seeking to connect with a man with similar values and interests. It’s nice when a guy doesn’t ask a woman for half of the $10 check at a local Starbuck’s or diner! That’s poor taste.
What a nasty and cynical remark (speaks volumes of the author) – “You know, that move where you pretend that you want to pay something, but are just testing the guy to see if he accepts”. Any man that feels like that–should stay at home–all alone.
Actually any man that exhibits that personality and demeanor IS probably all alone and always will be.
This woman (and I use that term loosely) is obviously brain-dead. She’s exactly what’s wrong with her gender, and why guys like me have such a difficult time with the culture we live in today. It’s not even worth it to detail how stupid and ignorant she is.
I like to pay the bill.If the lady wants to contribute fine.I for one do not expect sex for the night out.Not every guy is like that some are but not all.
Dear, Midea
You are correct about the custom of the man paying but not necessarily for the right reasons.
Firstly, I always pay; no exceptions, period. It is called “chivalry”; NOT because I expect to get something! This is just one of the ways men can show our care and respect for our women; regardless of the past, or present paradigms of social contract.
Any “quid pro quo” on the woman’s part is equally wrong! She is doing those things to take care of herself and to have respect for herself as a human being! NOT just for the guy! These are not acts of “entitlment” either!
AND, if sex has any part, whatsoever, in this process, it reduces her to nothing more than a hooker! Sex is by mutual consent born of true affection and attraction, NOT a trade for a free meal! (Unfortunatly, FYI, there are those women who DO take advantage and “use” men. Many men have become wary due to the rampant abuse.) But one of the things that riles me most is the “sex..even if they don’t want to” comment! I would not want to have relations with any woman who was not pleased to be with me or would do it out of a sense of obligation for a free meal or any other favor! I myself could not even enjoy the act if she didn’t, and I would not respect myself if I took advantage of a woman with this mindset, let alone take her out to begin with!
AND, while it’s true about all the trials and obligations women carry today, they haven’t any monopoly!; men bear these things as well. (Hers are a somewhat self-centered and myopic view of the world and reveals that Midea is feeling a little sorry for herself.) And a true man, secure in his own skin, could cook, raise kids or do anything stereotypically woman’s work without any damage to his sexual security and identity!
My final opinion, is that when Midea can bring herself to date a better class of men, who know what it’s about to BE a man, where she and they can respect each other and themselves, she may soften her position and improve her chances of finding a suitable partner!
Good luck, Midea and I mean that sincerely.
BIX