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Developing Inner Game by Cajun

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently, only you can, but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

So what is it?

To me, inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.

Experience:
When people ask me how I developed my “Rock solid confidence”, I always answer the same; “Practice”. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that its simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with. It’s only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they don’t talk to women! It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong”. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!

Think about it this way; when you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well this is the same thing, I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.

Mind Set:
Most of us grew up in a society that believed in a 2 concentric circle model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle; reality, through our inner circle; our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked; that our consciousness was independent of it…but recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is; reality exists inside our mind, we create our own reality with our thoughts (Or beliefs, if you’d rather).
What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be 1 reality; your own. Who’s to say I’m not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing this entire article out to send a message to YOU, from your subconscious mind. It’s possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don’t be one of them.

I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

“Think of it this way: what if, let’s say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play, he says this:

“This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these “beliefs”. Think of it as your “console hack””

I’m sure you saw this coming, but this “game” already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are.”
Sound a little like the matrix? Well that’s ok, like I said; I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective and this is simply how I believe reality works.

I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before:
I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women, I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?
“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is…to remember that you already are.”
– Cajun

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By Christian Carter

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

This time I’m responding to an email I got from a woman who recently bought my ebook.

I think you’ll “feel her pain” and see why I wanted to respond to her.

She’s going through that dreaded situation I’ve seen lots of women deal with where she was dating a guy and became “physical” with him, but then he quickly pulled away.

Want to know what’s going on with a man in this situation and what he’s thinking?

And what to do about it?

Keep reading…

>>>> Question From A Reader

Hi Christian

I’ve just bought your book…. I’m from Thailand and I appreciated your book so much. Unfortunately, I read the lesson about Thinking in Time Frames where you taught how to let a man wait for sex… but I’ve already made that mistake and had sex with him. I want a more serious relationship and I told him afterwards, but as you told me he would, he became impatient when we talked and it made me so frustrated and upset.

Now he’s acting distant. So, what should I do to rewire our relationship and make him see my worth?

I feel so disappointed about my actions.

Christian, please help me…

Best regards,

J from Thailand

>>>> My Response

I want to give you a big hug… and then a good SLAP.

Ok, listen closely.

I’m about to share something with you that I want you to NEVER, EVER forget.

It’s the reality about how most men work when dating.

Ready?

A man will NEVER see your “worth” just because he’s having sex with you.

It sucks, but that’s the way men act sometimes.

And guess what?

You’re dating a man.

So let me be very clear here:

Just because a man has sex with a woman, it doesn’t mean that he’s spent even a second of his time deciding whether or not he wants to be with her in the future.

Got it?

Ok, good.

Because even though you’ve already moved on to how you’re going to settle down together, he hasn’t even decided if he wants to try anything “serious” out with you.

Sure, it would be great if a man let you know this before he slept with you, but that’s not reality most of the time.

And I’m willing to bet you played a part in this.

You’re not entirely innocent.

Were you up-front and honest about what you were looking for?

Or did your true feelings sneak up on you, freak you out, and then freak him out too?

GIVING AWAY YOUR “SELF” TO A MAN

I’ve got an important question for you…

Who made this guy the final judge of your “worth” as a woman?

The answer…

You did.

Cut it out.

And I’ll bet I know WHY you did it.

I’m going to get a bit “deep” and “spiritual” here with you, all in the name of tough love.

You’re seeking his APPROVAL in the worst kind of way.

You’re waiting and wanting HIM to show YOU that you deserve the experience of open and unrestrained love.

You’re counting on him to be the strong and masculine lover you’ve always wanted, who will break through the barriers in both of your hearts.

That way you can SURRENDER to the deep kind of love that you truly desire from a man.

Unfortunately, that’s not what’s happening or how he FEELS with you right now.

But deep down, you believe that if you can come up with enough “proof” that he should love and value you, and if you can make things “perfect” between you two, then he’ll become the open and loving man you imagine him to be.

It’s time.

It’s time for the little girl who’s seeking a man’s approval in order to experience love to grow up.

It’s time for you to stop hoping that a man will become the man you want him to be, when he shows you that he doesn’t even have a clue about what love is or how to be with a woman.

But you’re so wrapped up in his perspective, what he’s doing, his feelings, his emotions and his desires (or lack thereof) that you’ve all but forgotten about something WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

What YOU really want.

I’ll take a wild guess here and bet that the kind of guy that you truly want isn’t the kind of guy who would act how this guy is acting.

As in, the kind of guy who would sleep with a woman and then act distant and irritated with her just because she wants to talk about how she’s feeling.

So, sorry for asking but…

What the h#ll are you doing!?

You’re wasting your energy trying to get the love and approval of someone who acts like a person you don’t even want to be with!?

Ok, now that we’ve verbally smacked you around a little bit, we can move on from what NOT to do, to learning what to do.

LOVE, SEX AND THE MIND OF THE “MASCULINE MAN”

You need a lesson on who a man really is.

There are FASCINATING biological reasons for why men act the way they do.

But the reasons that are the most important for you to understand right now aren’t the “scientific” ones.

I’m going to get a tiny bit “out there” right now, but stick with me…

There’s a big difference between what I’ll call the “masculine” energy and the “feminine” love or energy.

Pay careful attention here.

The feminine energy grows with fullness, praise, connection and love, to allow a kind of “surrender” in all kinds of joyful experiences.

With sex, women surrender to the experience with a man through love and connection, which can make the man and woman as one.

But the masculine energy doesn’t work this way. At least not in the “darker” part of a man.

The masculine energy is VERY different.

The masculine energy seeks to break through challenges all alone and arrive at its desire – “emptiness” and “freedom”.

Have you ever heard a man talk about how he wanted his “freedom”… and you wondered what the hell he was talking about?

And you could tell that he didn’t even really know what he meant by his “freedom”.

This “freedom” or emptiness is actually the masculine means of surrender and fulfillment.

Just as the feminine means is connection and loving.

Ever noticed that lots of men fall right to sleep or act like they’re off somewhere else after sex?

There are tons of pop-culture references to men doing this in TV, movies, books, etc.

People know that men often behave this way.

It’s “conventional wisdom”.

But most people don’t really know WHY men act this way.

Here’s my favorite way of explaining it…

Have you ever thought about why so many men have a strong addiction to watching sports events.

Well, each game is setup in a specific way that draws a man’s emotions into the experience.

At the center of each game is a person or a team that rises up to overcome.

It’s a kind of trial where a man will break through hardship, competition and challenge.

And when a team or player scores a goal or a touchdown and celebrates, something fascinating takes place.

The man “breaks through” the challenge into “freedom” and the final emptiness of victory.

Then the men will celebrate as though their greatest desires have been fulfilled and cry out as they never have before.

Bizarre and fascinating…

Ok, back to Earth.

How does this relate to dating, sex and love?

With sex, a man doesn’t “surrender” to love and connection the way a woman does… unless he learns to.

** And yes, a man can and should learn how to surrender himself with his woman to love **

But instead, men often seek the physical challenge of sex as a goal unto itself, where they can break through to a temporary “freedom” and emptiness.

Whoa… Heavy stuff.

Here’s the point, in case you don’t like talking in myths and metaphors.

But first, don’t go telling this story to the man you’re dating or with out of the blue.

He will think you’re CRAZY – unless he’s the kind of guy that’s already on a more spiritual kind of “path”.

This is for YOU to know and to work with.

So back to you….

Notice that in physical experiences with women, or in life for that matter, most men don’t have the same strong drive to be deeply and unwaveringly CONNECTED to the people around them like most healthy women do.

Often times, they’re driven by something that has nothing to do with love, intimacy and connection.

Yeah, I know. Men are CRAZY and messed up and different.

But men don’t have to be bizarre and strange this way if they LEARN and become AWARE.

Or…

If they have a woman who gets it, she can lead and challenge him into finding freedom through love and connected experience, not through empty physical experience and isolation.

LET’S TIE IT ALL TOGETHER

Here’s the thing…

A man will NEVER see you exactly the way you want him to see you, or value you exactly the way you know you should be valued, if… you’re doing things just to seek and win his love and APPROVAL.

Yes, you might have “goofed” by being physical with him too early.

But stop being so hard on yourself. It’s the past, and it’s not the problem now.

The real problem now is something entirely different.

Sleeping or being physical with a man is NOT a bad thing.

Trust me. wink, wink.

But you’ve got to create the right feelings within him before and during the experience of being together for it to truly bring you closer in love.

Sorry, but just being there isn’t going to do it and reach a man’s heart.

Wow, I just realized… men are actually so high-maintenance.

Anyways…

So you want to know how to “re-wire” things?

Here’s what to do first:

Stop wanting the fact that you’ve had sex to magically win him over into being an open and loving partner like you are.

Then go back and read the section in my book inside Chapter 8 called “Triggering A Deeper Level Of Attraction In A Man”.

What you need to know is there.

(and read, re-read and put it to use this time!)

But let’s keep going and I’ll touch on a few of the same points that are in there.

Ever thought about what a man really wants in a woman to date or fall in love with?

I’m talking about mature, healthy men here.

** They want someone that they WANT **

They want to WANT a woman, to worship her, to please her, to ravish her, and to sweep her off her feet with their physical and emotional presence.

And for the woman to be utterly and completely taken with them and what they do.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard this kind of male fairy tale before.

So why don’t men just act this way with women if this is what they want?

Ahhh… welcome to dating.

Because most women don’t create the experience that will make a man FEEL this way.

So here’s a “center-piece” of the puzzle…

I call it the “Pursuit Gene”.

There’s a drive in men that makes them want to be CHALLENGED… and to overcome that challenge.

I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true.

Remember the “spiritual” story from earlier?

Men want to be challenged by the idea of meeting, attracting, and pursuing a woman.

And then they want to win the woman over and feel stronger as a man for having done it.

Men deal with this in one of two ways:

1. They find more “freedom” and emptiness by physically being with a woman in the short term

2. They find connection and love by physically AND emotionally being with the woman in a deeper and “longer-term” way

Here’s the AMAZING part…

A woman helps him choose which it will be with her.

Interesting…

The point is, men LOVE the chase.

Some men might tell you that they don’t.

They do.

Men love the chase and the challenge not in their “logical” minds, but down where it counts.

They love it in their FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.

It’s part of their genetic make-up.

But if a woman loses control emotionally, seeks HIS APPROVAL or thinks she can trade sex to receive love before a man’s experiencing an intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her, then something bad happens.

The man loses that feeling of excitement and challenge with her.

He recognizes that the woman has already given over physical and emotional CONTROL to him.

Which destroys the strongest “lead-in” to creating lasting love with a man.

It’s just one simple word.

ATTRACTION.

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

And I don’t mean that they want to talk about it or analyze it so that it makes “sense”.

They don’t want to listen to what a woman tells them is going on and then come to accept and understand how and why they should be in love.

No. That’s not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I’m going here?

If you don’t make a man FEEL ATTRACTION for you and trigger the emotional desire deep inside him to win you over and be with you for the long term, then there’s no amount of talking, sharing, or SEX that can change his mind.

In my ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him” I talk about the VERY BEST ways to create great experiences and situations with men.

Experiences and situations that will make a man respond to a woman with INTENSE DESIRE and ATTRACTION.

And not just in the “empty” physical sense, but instead with more deeply connected feelings.

Chapter 9 of the book is titled “From Casual To Committed – Communication Secrets with Men & New Relationships”.

In it are some of my very best ideas on how to build the right “emotional environment” for a man to feel addicted to the love, connection and attraction you share.

He’ll wonder why he didn’t find you and figure out how to be in love sooner.

Check out the details here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Thanks and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

By Carlos Xuma

The TRUTH About How to Approach Women…

QUESTION ABOUT FEAR OF APPROACHING WOMEN:

Hello Carlos,

My understandings on women have changed a lot since I read your books and I have read them several times. I am trying to be the Alpha Man which you insisted we (men) all have to be. I am working on it and to tell you the truth I do feel about better about myself.

But, despite reading all your articles, I still get scared to death when I approach women, my thoughts just turn from Alpha to Beta within seconds and I just can’t do anything although I already at least have a plan of how I’ll get them engaged into the conversation. There are these thoughts and strange stomach feelings which start building up when I start approaching them to talk.

Now I am at home, just got back from a New Years party, sad, depressed and ashamed of myself. I cannot express in words how bad I am feeling now after having seen all those beautiful women in the party but could still not do anything…

I realise this is affecting my life because I feel lonely and this is not a problem I can talk to anyone to feel better, what’s even worse is my close ones do not even try to understand what my problem is.

I can change to become or at least pretend that I am an Alpha Man but the moment I see an attractive woman this all disappears and I come back to being a beta.

I am writing this e-mail to you probably because no one understands this awful problem of mine better than you.

Did you ever find yourself in this situation? If yes then what did you do to overcome this?

– Ranjiv
Reading, United Kingdom

——————————————————————————–

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS ABOUT APPROACH ANXIETY:

Well, first of all, let me tell you that the experience you are having is a common one for many guys.

When I say “many,” I really mean MOST every single guy out there.

So when you try to explain to other guys what you’re experiencing, many of them simply DENY that it is even happening. It’s crazy, but most guys don’t want other guys knowing that they feel fear approaching and talking to women.

It seems un-manly. And it can really be completely humiliating.

I know – I had a TOUGH time admitting it when I had this problem. (Yes, I have had this experience hundreds of times in the past.)

It’s funny, but most guys have this epiphany over the New Years holiday that they are not getting the success they feel they should with women.

It’s emphasized by the fact that they don’t have a date for the party they went to, and then it’s really punched into their gut when they don’t come home with a number from any of the women they met.

When midnight comes on New Years and everyone else is hugging and kissing their sweetheart, you feel like the loneliest guy on the planet for being … well, the only one without a girl.

I hated that feeling, and it really pissed me off that I could be in a room full of pretty women and not be able to talk to ANY of them.

I’d stand with my drink in my hand and PRAY that one of them would come over and talk to me, but that never happened. Some other guy would always approach her while I was trying to think up some clever opening line.

“Let me tell you what Approach Anxiety really is…”

Approach anxiety is that sensation you have when you’re about to approach a woman, but there’s this little voice in your head that stops you dead in your tracks and keeps you from walking over to her.

It’s just like the feeling you had when you were a kid and you knew you were in trouble and had to go to the principle’s office, or go home to your angry parents.

(Isn’t it weird how your senses are all on alert when you’re in an approach situation? It’s almost like being in a different dimension…)

This feeling is simply known as DREAD.

You’re almost completely paralyzed by your own brain, but the worst part is that you don’t even really THINK anything when you’re trying to just say something – anything – to her.

(I’m getting freaked out as I type this, because I’m remembering the sensation – and just how much it really SUCKS.)

Approach anxiety is something I call a “Compound Emotion.” This is an emotion that is so complex and complicated that you can’t figure out where it’s coming from or how to deal with it.

They get all mixed up in your head, and you have no idea how to overcome it to do what your mind wants to do, but some other part of you is short-circuiting.

In fact it’s so complex that I can’t possibly overcome this for you in a simple newsletter, but I can give you some tips…

First, start to really monitor that feeling in your body when you get ready to approach a woman. I’ll bet that you feel the same things every time, and if you can start to recognize the sensation in your body first, you’ll have your first alarm that you can sense when it’s about to go off.

If you can sense the feeling before it comes on, you can stop it before it paralyzes you. Just like taking some Vitamin C tablets or echinacea extract to prevent a cold that you feel coming on.

“Everything begins with AWARENESS…”

Next, start to plan how you’ll get started in interactions with women. You’re probably blowing yourself out because you’re trying to run before you can even walk.

Your goal is just to talk with her at first, for just a minute or two. Keep it LOW anxiety.

You need a couple good openers to get you started.

One that I use quite a bit is this:

“Hey… You know, you have a really nice energy about you. I just had to come over and let you know.”

Now that is fantastic for getting a woman to open up, because you’re giving value to HER instead of just “pickup” lines that don’t do anything but scream out “pickup artist.”

I personally use that one all the time, and it has never failed to start a conversation.

(By the way, if you’d like more openers like this, please read on for the link below to my bonus article…)

Do you ever feel like you’re at a loss when it comes to approaching women and getting them interested in you – romantically?

Read the next couple paragraphs carefully, because what I’m about to tell you has a DIRECT IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE…

“Women are attracted to several KEY behaviors in men…”

These are things that many guys don’t know are attractive to women because it goes against what they think of as “nice.”

The ideas I’ve just discussed in the letter above are what I consider to be essential behaviors to incorporate in your identity. These are a critical part of dating success with women.

Most guys spend no time improving their approach skills with women, and they end up chickening out when the time is right to approach a woman they’re interested in. They’d rather sit back and talk about what they WOULD do, but not actually muster up the courage to go and really DO IT.

I’m going to tell you a little secret:

I used to be the same way. I remember fondly going to a bar in Kansas City (where I was living at the time) and being so desperate to meet someone that I pulled out a business card, found a woman that looked attractive, and I handed it to her saying, “Excuse me, I think you dropped this.”

What chance did that have of working?

About zero. Because even if she did find it cute and endearing that I tried, it was a pitifully indirect method of expressing my interest.

And it didn’t work. (If you’d like to read the whole story of my fateful and horrible approach skills back then, you can go read about it at the link I’m going to give you…)

“That failure was the last straw for me…”

I was fed up, and I’d had ENOUGH.

If you’re like me, you know that approach anxiety doesn’t get better without learning some new skills and techniques to overcome my fears. It simply will NOT get better on its own…

In fact – it usually gets MUCH WORSE over time. It’s a lot like social cancer to a man’s life. That sounds brutal, but it’s true.

I made a decision right then that lasted me a lifetime. I decided that – do or die – I was going to learn how to approach women, how to talk to women, and how to get her interested in me.

No matter WHAT it took.

I started watching other guys, trying out my own stuff, seeing what worked and what didn’t, and I everything I learned down.

Now, a couple years ago, I took all that information and I put it all together into something that was designed to get guys past all these hurdles.

I know what it’s like to sit there feeling like you can’t talk to that hot woman in the bar, or the attractive store clerk you’d like to ask for her number.

I know how it feels in your stomach to go through this every time you see a woman you want to approach.

Now you can finally fix this…

RIGHT NOW.

Get the answer you have been looking for here

By Christian Carter

What It Means If He Doesn’t Call

Ever wonder why the man you’re dating and having an amazing time with doesn’t call you very often?

Or worse… stops calling altogether?

If you’ve ever had this happen to you with a man, then you know how FRUSTRATING it can be when a man just suddenly stops calling for what seems like no good reason…

And you’ve spent more time than you’d like to admit wondering what happened and what YOU might have done wrong.

Most women in this situation fall into a kind of trap that seems to work against them…

Instead of recognizing that the man not calling is an important signal in of itself, they become obsessed with wanting to know what he’s thinking and WHY he’s acting this way.

But most women also know on an intuitive level that coming out and actually asking a man why he’s acting this way wouldn’t bring about anything good.

And guess what?

Their intuition is right.

With most men in this situation, if you want to connect with a man and grow closer, then the answer is NOT to try and get him to talk about his thoughts and feelings.

It’s time you learned what it really means if a man isn’t calling… and what to do about it to quickly “turn the tables” in your favor so that he’s the one calling and asking you out.

I’ll share this with you, but first I want you to read this email I got recently from a reader about this exact kind of situation.

**Question From A Reader**

Hi Christian,

First of all I think you are great and have learned a lot from reading your book. I am divorced and have been dating a widower for about a month. We get together once or twice a week – I don’t expect more than that – as he lives about half an hour away from me. Our dates are great and there is a definite physical attraction on both sides. My problem is that in-between dates I don’t hear from him. I know that he works hard and is bringing up 3 children on his own – but how long does it take to pick up the phone and ask me how I am? Am I asking too much? Is it too soon to expect anything? I don’t want to complain and frighten him off, as I really like him. What do you suggest?

Looking forward to hearing from you R.J. from Illinois

**My Response**

Ok, let me get the facts straight here…

You’ve been out with a man for an entire month. (Not long at all, and effectively NO TIME in a man’s mind)

You’ve seen each other once or twice a week or so for 3-4 whole weeks. (Not even enough for a man to see you as “dating”)

And you know he is busy and raising three young children on his own. (His attention and focus is admittedly elsewhere.)

But in just a few dates you’ve already become disappointed and “bothered” by the way he’s being… and you’re wishing he would CHANGE.

DANGER.

This is bad for YOU, and for him.

The approach and mindset you have right now is almost guaranteed to make this man see you as too demanding and “needy” to want to be with you, when it’s just a few weeks in.

So I hope you haven’t started talking about all your feelings of disappointment with him yet.. because it wouldn’t go over well with the way you’re looking at things.

But here’s the worst part of all this…

You already have my e-Book and you’re still asking me for the “easy” answer on this, as though there is some magic pill I can give you that will make a man act the way you want or expect him to be.

I’d like to be able to lie and tell you that I could change a man for you.

But I can’t… and you know it.

The truth is, I’ve only got YOU to work with… and you’ve only got YOUR OWN thinking and your own behavior that you can use to make a difference.

It’s time you started thinking about how you can take RESPONSIBILITY for creating the RESPONSE you want in a man…

Instead of sitting around frustrated that he hasn’t met YOUR EXPECTATIONS you have for him. (Especially when he doesn’t even know what these are)

You need to open up my e-Book and go to page 32.

On that page, I want you to read the section called “Initial Thoughts” at least twice and think about what’s going on there.

I want you to think about the 2 types of people I talk about… and the kind of “magic mindset” that’s going to help you naturally start creating great situations in your life.

Then I want you to think about how this relates to the idea of COMMUNICATING with a man in a way that creates ATTRACTION inside of him.

As opposed to communicating with a man in the way that KILLS the attraction he might be feeling for you.

Once you’ve thought about this, I want you to go to page 36 and read the section on “How To Be Honest About What You Want”.

Pay attention here to the 4 important questions you need to ask yourself BEFORE you get involved with a man, or start talking about your relationship with him.

And make sure you learn and understand what I call “a unique habit of happy people”.

If you could apply this one simple habit to your love life, I know it would immediately give back to you the kind of understanding and satisfaction you’re seeking but not meant to get yet from the man you’re dating. (Hint – there’s a reason why you and he aren’t totally “connecting” yet, and it’s NOT all about him)

And by the way, you can download a free trial copy of my e-Book at the link below right now, and be reading it in just a few minutes

Download and read my e-Book here right now:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Now, you’ve also asked a great question in your email…

“Am I asking for too much from him?”

Simply put – YES. You’re asking for too much because you shouldn’t be ASKING HIM for what you want and then hoping that he “meets your demands”.

This is a LOSING APPROACH that will 100% guarantee that a man won’t want to give you what you’re looking for.

Why?

Well, it’s not because you actually are asking for too much.

It’s OK to know that you’d like a man in your life who you’re involved with to call you more.

But this isn’t about whether this is ok for you to ask for.

No. This is all about THE WAY you ask, and the emotions and expectations a man will see that you’re holding onto when you open your mouth and you’ve been going through a whole lot of disappointment and frustration with him… while he’s thinking that you’ve been out on a few fun dates and everything is fine and dandy.

WHY ISN’T HE CALLING MORE?

Here’s something you might not have thought about…

Men often communicate and show their feelings in less “direct” ways than simply saying and expressing how the feel.

In fact, most men are a whole lot more conscious of DOING things than they are of how they effect and relate to others on an emotional level.

So… when a man doesn’t call, it’s often NOT an indication of something else going on in his head that he might want to talk to you about.

Often times it’s simply an indication that he doesn’t actually FEEL like spending more time around you.

So he simply doesn’t call.

In other words, when it comes to men and dating, it’s best to look at a man’s ACTIONS and BEHAVIORS as the only TRUE INDICATION of how they really feel inside.

As a woman, you can probably spin your wheels dreaming up all kinds of incredible and elaborate ideas and scenarios for why a man isn’t calling and what it means about his feelings and your situation.

But, if you’re interested in doing more than analyzing and trying to figure out things in your own mind… then it’s best to “read” the men you’re dating early on by what they DO… and NOT what they SAY.

Which means… a man not calling you often, or at all, is an important signal in of itself.

If a man is spending time with a woman he “likes”, but he isn’t sure if he would want much more than a few casual dates with her… then here’s what he does…

He only calls her every once in a while to keep the “connection” open… making sure not to let the connection die, but also making sure not to spend too much time with a woman or show her too many signs of interest that might indicate he’d want a more serious relationship.

And yes, some men actually think this way and are CONSCIOUS about NOT CALLING women very often if they don’t want things to get more serious.

While other men who don’t call are usually doing this inadvertently as they’re going about their life and not thinking much about wanting more with a woman.

Here’s what you need to take away from all this…

If a man isn’t calling and you’d like him to call more and to grow in your relationship together, it really doesn’t matter WHY.

The only things that matter are if he’s not calling because he’s not interested in a relationship with you… ever.

Or…

If he’s not calling because he’s just not feeling “that way” for you… YET.

Which begs the question – how do you get a man feeling “that way” for you if he’s not feeling it yet?

Well, for starters, you need to STOP doing the things that will promise that a man WON’T feel it for you.

Things like CALLING HIM TOO MUCH.

Or getting upset and hurt that he hasn’t called when there’s no “relationship” yet, and it’s just YOUR EXPECTATION that he SHOULD call more.

Or generally taking on any other needy, clingy, or overly emotional behaviors that will have a man thinking you’d be nothing but a pain if he was to get to know you and involved in a real relationship with you.

What you need to do instead is to start to learn the behaviors that create the feeling of ATTRACTION inside a man.

Why attraction?

Because attraction is the one thing that will “override” all the logical reasons a man has for NOT wanting to get involved with a woman or stay single…

And will take over his “emotional world” and have him thinking and acting from his EMOTIONS with you… instead of his “logical mind” that will often try to RESIST a woman and a real committed relationship.

The truth is, if you learn how to keep that intense level of attraction ALIVE in your relationship… and you know how to make a man feel attracted to you on a physical, emotional, and “intellectual” level, then your relationship with him will largely take care of itself.

If you want to learn how to create an intense level of attraction in a man… and keep it going, then check out the chapter on “How To Attract Men” in my e-book now:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

By Carlos Xuma
Women want you to approach them.

This one is the one that kicks my butt every time. You see, most guys don’t believe this, and a lot of guys don’t WANT to believe it.

First of all, I have conducted surveys of women, as well as spoken to women in just about every situation imaginable, and there is a big misunderstanding here about what women want.
This is what guys assume:

“If I see an attractive woman when I’m out during the day, I want to meet her. But I’m pretty sure she’s busy, and I’ll just be a bother to her. She’s obviously doing stuff and in a hurry. I don’t want to annoy her.”

The problem here comes when we make the assumption without VALIDATING it. We never check in to see if it’s real.

Most guys will not approach because of this belief.

And the one guy in a thousand that DOES approach her goes in with this belief in his head, and his approach is weak and half-hearted. He doesn’t carry himself with any confidence.
Ask yourself: Do you believe that women are bothered when men approach and talk to them?

Before you do anything else, I want you to read this.
I asked a very attractive Asian girl what her experience with guys approaching her was:
I asked: How frequently do guys approach you?

She said: “This week I’d say 0 guys approached. They showed interest but … weren’t able to turn it into a conversation…”

I asked: How many wanted to approach but didnt?
She said: “Percentage-wise, I’d say 95%.”
WOW…!
Interesting, huh?
Now, I know that a lot of guys will hear that and say, “Well that’s just ONE woman. Most women don’t feel that way.”

Nope.
Sorry.

This is true for every woman I’ve ever talked to.
Here are the facts from a recent survey:
41% of the women I asked said that they are only annoyed at guys when they’re boorish and crude…
36% said they are almost always flattered by the approach…
22% said they were excited and happy to meet someone new.

And – get this – 0% (ZERO!) said that they are annoyed all the time when guys approach them.

I also asked them:If you do go to bars, would you go to a bar to meet guys? Or something else?
35% said they went to have fun, but there was a possibility to meet someone…
65% said they don’t really go to bars to meet men. They go to socialize and chill.
And – get this – 0% said they go to bars to meet men.

I personally think that every woman goes to bars with that hope in the back of her head that she will meet a guy, but it’s not the primary reason she goes.

Women want men to approach them – and especially during the day – because most of the quality women don’t go to bars to “pickup” guys.
In fact, here are some of the things women have told me when I asked them, “What would you say to guys who are out there and see a woman they want to talk to?”

– “Just do it – be a man – take the risk…”- “Suck it up and go for it!”- “Just be yourself; don’t worry about the perfect pick-up line.”- “Do it the worst thing that can happen is she said no But, what if she is interested…”- “PLEASE approach me because most of the time I am assuming that if you do not initiate a conversation, you are not available…”- “Go for it, there’s nothing to lose…”

That’s a pretty big kick in the butt to get going and do it, isn’t it?
But I have to admit, there’s not a lot of helpful advice in their words.

“Just do it” is a great slogan for sneakers, but if you could just “do it,” you would be doing it, right?

Well, a while back I sat down with some friends of mine that are dating advisers and “gurus,” and I recorded all my strategies for approaching women in any situation.
AND I completely broke down and explained my method for getting past Approach Anxiety.

That sick-to-your-stomach sensation of fear and nerves that hits you when you see a woman you want to go talk to… but you can’t…
… but you REALLY want to…
… and you still can’t…
… but you really want to get to meet her, and you know you HAVE to…
… and you STILL can’t do it.

It’s like a bouncer is holding your arms and legs and every time you start to move towards her, you freeze up and become paralyzed.
And the worst part about it?
You know that YOU are doing this to yourself.

It’s time to get rid of this sensation once and for all.
Kill your approach anxiety, and learn the specific things to say and DO to approach women whenever and wherever you can.

Get a FREE EBOOK with more information from Carlos here

By Christian Carter

Have you ever sat down with theman in your life and started talking to him andsharing things that you knew were special andimportant…

But instead of him listening and relatingto you and your feelings bringing you CLOSER-it made him become DISTANT and WITHDRAWN?

Sometimes it seems that the MORE it matters toyou, the harder it is to get a man to LISTEN andRESPOND.

Good communication has little to do with how muchor how little you care. Actually, the women whohave the most trouble with men and communicatingin relationships are women who don’t take themature and healthy attitude of “owning” the waythe things that they SAY and DO with a man makehim RESPOND.

And until you decide to take the bold stepof taking responsibility for the RESPONSE youcreate inside a man with the way you shareyour thoughts and feelings… you’re likelyto NEVER have the man in your life listeningto you and giving you what you want instead.

The quickest and easiest “crash course”in becoming a great communicator, getting thekinds of RESPONSES and LISTENING you want inyour relationship…

While at the same time showing a man thatyou’re the kind of woman he wants to be withbecause you’re so easy for him to talk to is righthere

Now, let’s get into using the incredibleand unique power of using your own INTUITIONto “tune into” a man on a deeper level andbuild the level of intimacy and attractionhe feels with you…
Read the rest of the article and comment on it here
WHAT WILL GET YOU TO “THE TRUTH” OF A MAN
Let me ask you….

Have you ever been with a guy and he seemedto have it all together?

He was caring, loving, generous, presentand aware, and you had such an amazing timetogether.

But then his issues popped up out of NOWHERE.
Maybe his issues were some of the dreadedand predictable telltale signs of a confusedand withdrawing man.

Tell me if any of the following seem strangelyfamiliar to you:

-He starts acting restless and talking abouthow he isn’t really ready to “settle down” andwants his “freedom”

-He tells you that he didn’t see things getting”serious” so fast

-He doesn’t make an effort to connect with you,give you praise or attention, and stops sharingany personal thoughts or feelings

-He stops making you a priority. He wants to spendall of his time with friends or other people anddoesn’t value time together anymore

-He never initiates anymore. He isn’t asphysically excited and into you as he was at first

-He starts flirting, talking to or even hangingout with other women

Recognize any of these?
Ouch, right?

So what in the world can you do about it whena man is acting so withdrawn and closed off likein these situations above?
Well, tell me…

Did you ever sense any of these things comingbefore they happened, or when they started, butyou didn’t have any “proof”?

Fascinating how that works.

What’s going on here?

Well, what’s happening centers around animportant idea I want you to understand –

It’s the idea that you instinctively know moreabout what’s going on in the world aroundyou than you or your conscious mind fullyrecognizes.

So here’s the deal…

You ALREADY HAVE a magical ability insideyou that comes up for you every once in a while.

So all you have to do is learn how toconsciously tune into it.

This “magic” is what we also refer to sometimesas INTUITION.

So how does it work and what is it?

In short, intuition is something that comes”pre-wired” in your brain.
The way your conscious and subconscious mindis hooked up to the rest of your complex bodysystems and senses make it possible.

So the good news is that this ability is therefor you anytime you want to use it.

But the bad news is that you have to taketime to fully tune into it and recognize yourability.

It a kind of “practice.”

Music is a good way to explain it.

You can’t just pick up an instrument and start
playing, right?

But once you start to become more aware of theinstrument, the music and how to play, thingsstart to naturally fall into place.

And soon, sounds, melodies and rhythms juststart to flow out of you in the moment.

Like they appear out of thin air, and nothingcould feel more natural.

And your mind is able to process all theinformation coming at it that used to overload it.

But now it can take it all in and use it toactually ANTICIPATE what’s next.

Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical abilityof yours called intuition is like.

Your mind is constantly picking up oninformation from your environment, even whenyou’re not really conscious of it.

And all that information is being “processed”over and over to try and calculate the risk,danger, and expectations from your environment totry to find a way towards the outcome you want.
So let’s get to it.

THE MAGIC POWER OF YOUR INTUITION
Here’s something you already know…

Men don’t make it very easy for open andhonest communication about what’s happeningand what’s going on in your relationship.

That’s why I don’t have to tell you thatmen can be bad communicators when it comes totheir feelings, emotions and intentionsaround love and relationships.
But give them a sports game and they’ll giveit all kinds of meaning and emotion that you’venever seem them share before.

What a bunch of apes…LOL
So knowing that men can be BAD COMMUNICATORS,and that they can have serious shortcomings withsharing their feelings or simply knowing how theyare feeling in a given moment and being able toarticulate it leaves you with a personalchoice to make.

You can either:
A) Do nothing about it and continue to beshocked, frustrated, surprised and hurt bythe things that men do and say (or don’t door say) and have your relationship stay “stuck”in the same place. Or…

B) You can start to create a more perceptiveand insightful way of being in your own lifeand relationships by using your naturalintuitive abilities… and changing the wayyou and a man COMMUNICATE.

Here’s the thing…
Using your intuition will not only help youunderstand a man better, but help guide youto an even more rewarding benefit – to helphim understand YOU.
So which one will it be?
Choice A – do nothing and stay “stuck”?

Or Choice B – grow and learn?
Nod if you’re choosing B – more perceptionand insight.
And if you’re still stuck in the trap ofChoice A where things aren’t great but youalways get to be “right” when the man in yourlife disappoints you… then go ahead and stopreading.
I don’t want to waste our time.
Good. Glad you’re still here.
Let’s get to it then…

USING YOUR INTUITION WITH MEN
Using your intuition might be the best, andin some situations, the ONLY way, that you’ll beable to know what’s really going on inside themind of a man.

And even better, the best way to find a wayto help him understand YOU and your feelings.
But if you’re completely honest, I thinkyou’ll remember that deep down even YOU don’talways know exactly what your feelings mean orhow to make sense of it all. So how do you expect a man to take in thesmall part of your feelings that you can explainwith words and understand and relate to you?

Here’s an answer to get you started –
Use your intuition and let it guide you.
So how do you do that?
I’m going to give you a short-cut guide togetting in touch with your intuition.
That way, you can start getting the benefitsof understanding and becoming understood.

SIX STEPS FOR USING YOUR INTUITION WITH A MAN
Step 1: Clear Your Mind Of Fear And Doubt
Some women end up worrying almost obsessivelythat something is wrong or going badly with aguy they’re interested in or dating once theysee some negative sign or pattern.
And once this happens, they want to knowwhat’s going on so intently, and often expectthe bad, that they let their negative thoughtstake over.
If you want to be able to use your intuition,you need to start interrupting that voice inyour head that’s the “fearmonger.”
You know the one – that voice that’s alwaysworrying just to try and keep you safe andprotected… And to predict all the bad thingsyou’ve seen and felt before so that you don’thave to go through them again.
The thing is, you can’t find the truth ina situation if you and your mind is buried insideyour mind in fears and doubts.
Have you ever seen how arrogant people oftencover up or ignore real problems around themjust because they want to believe they’re alwaysright – no matter what the cost?
Same idea.
Keep a balanced and objective mind set.
That way your beliefs systems aren’t allmixed up with negative thoughts and fears.
If they are, there’s no way for you to seethe real “cause and effect” around you.
You’ll just see what your mind is fearfuland afraid of – and this only helps bring thesame kind of negative situations and experiencesyou’ve had in the past into your life again.
Don’t do it!
By the way… if you’re having a tough timemoving past any painful or negative thoughtsor experiences from your past… or you seethat often times it’s YOUR negative and fearfulemotions that end up getting in your way andruin things with men, then I would STRONGLYSUGGEST that you take a minute and read theletter at the link below to help get thosenegative thoughts and patterns out of your lifeonce and for all.
Don’t let the things that don’t define youand aren’t your personal best push away theman you’re meant to be with.
Check out free tips and the in-depth programI’ve created to help you get into a positiveand healthy state that will naturally draw theright man to you and let him know you’re thekind of woman he wants to love and be with.
Help yourself, and the man in your life,enjoy your “best self” here

Step 2: Accept That Men Don’t Make “Sense”
All those frustrating things that men dothat don’t make any sense to you as a womanwill NEVER MAKE SENSE.
Stop trying to make sense of them.
Trying to make sense of a man in your ownterms is entirely counterproductive and willonly make you frustrated.
To learn about things you don’t alreadyknow, like intuitive ideas, you have to haveto look with a different set of eyes – notthe same ones you always use for yourself.

Step 3: You Can’t Figure Everything Out
Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guybut after a few weeks or months, even thoughthings seemed great, the man pulled away andstarting acting distant and cold?
Most men, at one time or another, do thingslike this that are impossible to analyze andfigure out.
So… EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does.
If you can become more comfortable with theidea of not knowing everything about WHY a mandoes what he does, then you’ll feel a strangesense of calm relaxation – along with an increasein your own self-confidence.
And guess what? This ends up being VERY UNIQUEand very ATTRACTIVE when a man sees and sensesthat you can be confident and “centered” inthose times where other women he knows have acteda little “too emotional” for him.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s OK for a man todo whatever he wants, and that you should acceptany negative and withdrawing behaviors withouthaving your own feelings about it – and”pretending” it’s all ok.
But the more relaxed and positive you thinkand feel around these things, no matter what theman is doing, the sooner you’ll stop fightingeverything in your mind and start creating bettersituations for yourself.
It’s frustrating and counterintuitive, butaccepting what’s going on and moving forwardfrom that reality in a positive way changes thewhole frame of the situation.
There’s a funny thing about the way the worldworks… and especially about how men are when itcomes to relationships with women –
Any “force” or “energy” that you apply to asituation with a man… there will be a responsethat’s equal in force to what you’re doing.
This is a basic law of the universe – everyforce produces a response of equal force.
So if the “energy” you’re applying is anxious,fearful, uncertain, etc. than guess what you’regoing to get back from a man?
You guessed it – the same kind of energyin response.
But some women get stuck in the “I needto understand why he did this and THEN I’llfigure out how to feel and act” mind set. Sothey keep on pressing and using the force theyfeel… thinking it will somehow transform intoconnection and understanding from a man.
I’ll put it to you straight – this NEVERleads to clear thinking and positive action.
And more importantly, it never gets youthe kind of connection and response you wantwith a man.
Quick note here – what if instead of usingfearful, anxious, negative energy that turns aman off, you were to have the kind of energythat would ATTRACT a man instead?
How do you “get” the kind of energy thattells a man that you’re the ONLY woman he wantsto be with?
…that you’re unique and worthy of his timeand attention?
…that he really got “lucky” the day he metYOU?
I’ll tell you how – you get it by doing andsaying the things that trigger emotionalattraction in a man.
If he can’t help but wonder and think about youall the time, he’s going to pursue you in orderto be close to you. If you create real and lastingATTRACTION in his mind, he won’t even be ableto help himself.
He’s going to do what it takes to be with you.
Find out how to BE the kind of woman a manfinds irresistible, by clicking here:

Step 4: Listen For More Than Words
Intuition doesn’t talk in straight answers,or in plain logical English.
It’s much more abstract.
Your intuition talks to you through feelings,images, and bodily sensations such as “gutfeelings.”
Most people, especially women I know, areusually in an open and relaxed state when theyget intuitive gut feelings and understandings.
I couldn’t talk highly enough about meditation,but I know it’s not for everybody.
If you don’t think you have a strongintuitive sense, simply try asking yourselfmore questions and keep them mulling aroundin your mind.
When you’ve got something in the back ofyour mind, something amazing happens withoutyou even trying.
Your brain takes notice and uses all yoursenses to find any sign or trace of informationthat relates to your questions as you go aboutyour day.
It’s kind of like a search running inthe background on your computer – even thoughyou’re doing something else it doesn’t stoplooking.
After you’ve asked your questions, yourmind will start sending you ideas, feelingsand images without you even thinking about it.
But sometimes it usually takes more timethan you’d like.
Finally, your intuitive voice will eventuallyjust pop up and start to give you hints andinformation without you even asking for it.
And then it’s up to you to pay attention,acknowledge it and make good use of it.
The huge mistake too many women make iswhen they get intuitive messages that theydon’t like, or that scare them.
When this happens, a mature Woman will lookat the intuitive message she’s getting and goto a place of figuring out how she can usethe message she’s getting in a constructiveway for herself – and for her relationship.
An immature woman (a Girl) will get veryupset about receiving a negative message, andwill get thrown off emotionally to the pointwhere she will say things that shows she’s notin a very fun and attractive place personally andemotionally.
When a man sees this, it would be great ifhe would always stop and say,
“Hey, are you ok? Do you want to talk aboutit, honey?”
But I think you know that this is NOT whatmost men will do in these situations. Especiallyif you’re in a “newer” relationship… or you’vebeen in a relationship where you’ve been actinghurt or upset often around a man.
At these times, most men will either PULL AWAYto try and avoid the negative emotions they cansee and sense in you…
Or they will get irritated or frustrated withyou and want you to simply get rid of your ownfeelings.
Either way, it doesn’t work out well. At all.

Step 5: Practice Your Intuitive Abilities
One of my favorite things to do is to trainand tune my intuition with each new person Imeet.
And I’ve personally found that body languagehas become the thing that gives me specialintuitive hints about people and situations.
If you’re new to using your intuition or you’reconcerned about if or how to act on it, startwith smaller things that might be less important.
Like whether or not you should go away forthe weekend or if your friend will like the giftyou’ve been thinking about for them.
That way, you can be practicing and learnto use your intuition without doing it inhigh-risk or high-pressure situations.
This will help you develop your abilities andbecome more comfortable to trust what you find.

Step 6: Act With The “Long-Term” In Mind
Years ago I had a huge learning experiencewhen it came to using and listening to myintuition in the right way.
I was working at a company that had laid offseveral people and I began to worry that myperformance was being scrutinized and that I wasin danger of losing my job, too.
I began to work harder than ever, hoping toshow them how valuable I was to the company andhow much they stood to lose if they laid me off.
One day, they called me into a meeting and Ithought, “Uh oh. This is it.” I thought I wasgetting let go.
Before they could say anything, I startedlisting all the ways I was working hard. But Istarted blaming the managers for a lot of thethings I thought were wrong with the company.
Fortunately, they stopped me before I went “toofar” and said too much. They told me they hadnoticed how much I had accomplished recentlyand wanted to express their appreciation.
The meeting went nothing like I had expected.
End of story.
Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me sothat I’d be aware of what was going on, which wasgood because I was able to “step up” at a verycrucial time.
But the mistake I made was taking thatinformation and using it to justify my own fearsand insecurities.
If I would have taken the information, beenpatient with it and applied it towards my goalsin a positive context, then the entire experienceknowing that the managers were watching my workwould have been different.
Maybe even productive for me.

But I didn’t use my intuition to see my wayto something better. I simply used it as a meansto worry and stress myself out over my own fears.
So all this talk about intuition…
How does it really apply to the men in yourlife, dating and relationships?
Well, take a man with some of those commonnegative male behaviors-
-fear of intimacy-inability to commit-flirting, cheating-withdrawal
Intuition can help you see past these thingsand understand them in the larger context of thedeeper, real psychological and emotional “stuff”that’s hiding beneath the surface.
Your intuition could even help you cutthrough a man’s ego and persona to get to thereal person that’s often hard to find.

Intuition is probably the best tool forbeing able to identify good and bad qualitiesin a man.
A man’s external or surface behavior andattitude can be very different than his deeperdesires and intentions – as you probablyalready know.
Some men are, unfortunately, just good atplaying the part of an emotionally stable,available and loving guy for a while, even ifthey aren’t.
So it’s really up to YOU to learn to getto the “deeper emotional truth” of any manyou’re interested in or dating.
And yeah, I know men can be soooo frustrating.

In a better world, men would be able to tellyou honestly and sincerely where they were at.
But as you know, MEN SUCK sometimes.
And a man will basically NEVER be able totell you clearly and honestly everything hefeels or what he wants when you ask him.
So if you’re constantly surprised, blind-sided or confused by what men around you do,then it’s time to get in touch with not onlyyour intuition, but the other knowledge andskills that you can put to work for yourself.

Your heart and your love-life deserve it.
In my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program,I reveal the “inner psychology” of men when itcomes to dating, relationships, love and sex, sothat you can get a better understanding of whereyour man is coming from, and how to handleevery one of those “weird” but common malebehaviors I mentioned earlier.

Remember, learning to understand is one ofthe best ways to be understood.
With my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program,you’ll learn to quickly identify what a man isthinking and feeling with you – without lettingthose self-destructive fears pop up that sooften cause us to react in fear, anger orfrustration.
Have you ever built up all kinds offrustration about a man, and when you finallytalked to him, it all came out in a destructivewhirlwind that only pushed him away?

Stop doing that to yourself and to yourrelationships.
It’s easy to inspire a man to really love andappreciate everything about your relationship.
It all starts with a basic UNDERSTANDING ofwhat HE needs in order to feel like he’s the rightpartner for YOU.
Go here now and learn what men really needin order to feel “in love” with you and in orderto know that you are “tuned in” with him everystep of the way:

Get it here

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luckin Life and Love.

Your Friend,
Christian Carter
P.S. How does a man decide whether or not to”get serious” with a woman after dating her for awhile?
If you’ve ever felt “stuck” in your love lifebecause you didn’t know how to break through the”casual dating” stage with a man and move into areal and committed relationship, I can help.
If you know much about men, then you probablyalready know that the answer with a man in thissituation is NOT to ask him for a commitment.
Lots of women try this and become frustratedand baffled when the man they thought they wereclose to completely pulls away from them or eventries to end the relationship all together.
If you want to grow your relationship with aman, the best way to move into a committedrelationship isn’t to come up against his”EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE” to commitment when youbring it up.
The best relationships that women enjoy most,and that last the longest, are the ones where THEMAN is leading the woman into a committedrelationship.
Where HE is asking HER to COMMIT TO HIM.
But for lots of women, things seem to getterribly turned around.
For the greatest chance at happiness andsuccess with a man, and to be able to quickly andeasily move from a casual situation to a real andcommitted relationship with a man, the answer isto learn:
1) How the commitment process works for him
2) How to make a man want to be with you and leadyou into a committed relationship
3) How to keep your relationship growing andhealthy so that you both stay emotionally involvedand fulfilled by the relationship
Most women NEVER learn these things, and as aresult, they never have the kind of success indating and relationships with men they reallywant.
This is exactly what you’ll learn in my “FromCasual To Committed” program.
So don’t wait for your relationship to figureitself out if you’re in one.
Don’t wait for a man to figure it out and makeyour relationship work for you.
Don’t wait until you’re dating the right guyand in a great relationship to learn how to helpit grow and make it work with him.
Make it happen now.
Learn more, and get your trial copy of thisprogram right here:

From www.Tesh.com

If You Want to Meet More People, Look at Them and Smile
I have the secret to dating success! If you want to meet more people, don’t be coy. Look directly at them and smile. That’s according to researchers at Aberdeen University, who studied how facial expressions affect attraction. Here are the details, courtesy of the BBC:
The scientists took two headshots of different models – one smiling, and one not. Then, they digitally altered the photos so they had a second set in which the eyes were looking away from the camera.
When they showed the photos to volunteers, everyone like the smiling pictures best. No surprise there. On average, ratings were 6 times higher for the models who were looking directly at the camera than those whose gaze was averted – even when the photos were of the same person!

What’s this mean to you? The researchers believe that when you smile and make eye contact, you’re perceived as being more open to communication. So, if you have a picture on a dating site, make sure you’re looking straight into the camera. You’re likely to get more responses. If you’re meeting people in person, look them in the eye and flash those pearly whites. It’s scientifically proven to make you more attractive.

Long Island Speed Dating Speed Dating on Long Island

The following was posted on Yahoo this week. Let me know what you think.

Do you find yourself wondering why most of your buddies have steady dates, yet you can barely secure a first date, let alone a second (and, playing a regular game of Mahjong and Canasta with your grandparents and their friends doesn’t count)? Guys, if so, it’s time to ask yourself a few Foxy questions…

Do you… have a problem with eye contact? Even if you love everything about this other person, it won’t matter, if you can’t take your eyes off their body parts. They’ll likely think you’re out for one thing, or that you’re just kind of creepy. Sure, they might be wearing something revealing, but that’s no excuse to stare all night long. Get a grip and get comfortable with eye contact, which creates a much better bond.

Do you… eat like a caveman? Utensils are there for a reason — so you can eat like a gentleman. Shoveling food into your mouth is not something you should subject your date to. Same goes for talking while chewing. Not only is it unpleasant to watch at a time when your job is to be easy on the eyes, it’s a red flag that says you’re a little short on self-awareness — an important characteristic in a mate.

Do you… trim your toenails?  Not that your date will necessarily see your toenails right away, but when they do end up eyeballing them, unkept toenails are a guaranteed huge turnoff. It means you don’t take care of yourself, and valuing yourself is an important part of a healthy relationship. Plus, let’s not forget the damage they can do to the other person’s leg when you’re snuggling up on the sofa watching movies.

Do you… order “everything on the side” at a restaurant? In other words, do you order like a girl?  Please don’t. Because if your date has to be tortured by, “I’ll have the Cobb salad, but no cheese, avocado, or bacon, and dressing on the side, and the pasta, but no oil please, and extra light on the pinenuts,” they may be forced to hide under the table or at least wonder what kind of demanding partner you could be. If you have dietary restrictions, do your best, just don’t get into what will happen to your belly if you don’t follow them.

Do you… assume you’re going to strike out? The Secret said it once but we’ll say it again: In a lot of ways, you manifest your own destiny. So, if you have lots of thoughts about being unlucky in love, you may be pushing people away in ways you may not even know. If you assume the worst of the world and yourself, spend a few minutes before your date making a mental list of why you’re looking for a relationship and why you are an incredible a catch.

At a recent event, this real cute lady came over to chat with me for a bit. She had met a “nice cute guy” and was speaking with him, but needed to step away because he had really bad breathe.

“What the F**K, he is cute and nice, but I couldn’t see myself ever kissing him”, she said to me.
My advice to her was to give the guy a chance anyway. “Offer him a piece of gum, or a mint.” Certain things you cant change, but bad breathe luckily can be changed if the person becomes aware there is a problem.

But that is the problem! We cant usually tell ourselves if our breathe is kicking, and how do you delicately tell someone that their breathe stinks.

Any advice or similar stories?? Please share in the blog.

All I know, is that I am going to carry those listerine strips in my wallet for now on!

Long Island Speed Dating Speed Dating Long Island

YOUR NOVEMBER 2008 ROMANCE AND PARTNERSHIP HOROSCOPES

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
There will likely be some friction at work concerning secret information that has to do with some one in authority. If you have nothing to do with it, stay out of it, and if you can feel the vibe coming on that something between your close associates just isn’t right, then observe it from a distance and don’t get involved. You will likely feel extra frisky, sexy and passionate during the middle of the month. Toward the end, the mood lightens and people around you want to have more fun. This month, there will be no shortage of sexual tension and opportunities to express it for your sign.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Some one who shares your values will pop up this month and you may feel as if you have met a total kindred spirit. There could be more than one, even. The planetary action also hints at some opportunities to meet people who would present some competition for you in the romance and relationship departments, but you will have the will to stand your ground. Turn your attention toward some one from a far-off land (or some one who was born in a different State), at the end of the month.

GEMINI (May21-June21)
Your opportunities for romance and physical intimacy could be slightly hampered by daily chores that will need attention in the first half of the month. Patiently wait this out until the second half. You can expect intensity to rise in a situation where a person you desire is out of your reach. It is going to be a difficult month for expressing devotion, but everything and anything that you say about your feelings and your desires had better be true. Make sure that you know what you want. Your decisions and intentions could end up being set in stone even if you didn’t want them to be. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

CANCER (June 22-July 23)
The planets are lined up in your sectors of partnership and romance. You should have plenty of run-ins with potential romantic partners this month. You will likely meet someone through a job, or who has a job that is similar to yours. You also might meet some one who needs your help in some way, so if you are the type who likes to help out, get ready to help an attractive person move furniture or something (but it is a good idea not to engage in a relationship that looks like it will be co-dependent. Being an enabler and helping some one are two different things). If there has been an ongoing issue with a partner where details of an agreement needed to be ironed out, you will come very close to finishing the task at the end of this month.

LEO (July 23- Aug 22)
The first third of the month and the last third of the month look like serious times where you will need to attend to situations at home and mundane tasks, but the middle of the month is where all of the romantic action takes place. Shared assets are a pain in the rear end, most likely. If you are not currently sharing assets with some one then you will likely be looking into a venture that would combine your assets with those of another person. You can be sure that a romantic pre-Thanksgiving interlude would be satisfying. Help out a loved one toward the end of the month when he or she seeks out your advice, or a shoulder to lean on.

VIRGO (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Talk it up with a dark-haired, mysterious person this month. He or she can give you insight into what it is that you really want. The person might not stick around very long, but he or she will be very useful in teaching you something about yourself. It is likely that if an attraction begins this month, it won’t be a long relationship, but it will be intense and passionate. Get ready for a very pleasant event toward the end of the month that is directly centered in your romance sector, and brings something to you that you have long awaited. Remember though, that it is often better to have quality than quantity. Be Thankful for what you do have this Thanksgiving because you have some very good things in your life.

LIBRA (Sept 23- Oct 23)
Most of your partnership action is taking place in the areas that rule your domestic situation. People you live with may have a lucky streak going on in November. Family matters might have to take precedence over socializing and dating but that is ok. If you are already attached, you will be very busy with your partner making sure that you have finances in order and moving around anything that you have to in order to create security. Over all, it is a busy month. All Libras have the opportunity to meet some one who is fun and frivolous during the last third of the month and this person really tickles your fancy.

SCORPIO (Oct 24- Nov 21)
If you have been looking for a, “partner in crime”, so to speak, you have an excellent chance of finding that person this November! (Refrain from committing actual crimes, please). A hard-headed but shrewd partner is what you need and someone like this would bring some excitement into your life. A current partner or one that you meet this month might have different ideas about settling down than you do. The chemistry between you will be great, but you will have to decide if you want to move on or take a wait-and-see approach. New acquaintances and old friends will be very uptight about money so prepare for them to seek out your advice this month.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22- Dec 21)
You need to brush up on your communication skills regarding money and assets this month, Sag. You may disagree with close partners about finances and you will uncover some spending issues that you didn’t know about previously. Toward the end of the month your ideas will be very important to the people around you. Any questions you had about the motives of partners and love interests are likely to be answered at this time. The relationship ball is in your court during the last third of the month and you will be getting some kind of praise for how you have been handling partnership situations before December rolls around.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22- Jan 19)
Venus is in your sign this month, Cap, and it joins Jupiter. Your attractiveness and luck should sky-rocket. You also have a shrewdness about you now that can be used to get a person, or even groups of people on your side. You are seeing right through their motives so you can almost predict what they will say and do. The first third of the month you will get a little bit of opposition from your partners and people you are interested in. The middle of the month is when you will have the power to make people eat their words, or at least to let them know that you see what they are trying to pull. The last third of the month you will have some personal business to attend to, but you will also have won over some important allies and maybe even get a reward for your hard work.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20- Feb 20)
Your reputation as a go-to guy or girl is in the making this month so you had better be ready to reap the benefits of it. Your natural leadership qualities will attract people who are a bit more attachable and a bit less objective than you are, so choose your partners carefully. There might even be a jealousy issue involving some one you meet (the other party, not you, is likely to be the one showing the jealousy). Your wallet should fare better than the wallets of most people you know this month. Keep your secrets to yourself, watch your back, don’t gossip, and make sure your actions are on the up-and-up. A little excitement on the relationship front is on the way but you want it to be a positive experience for everyone involved. Connect with loved ones and find new friends who live far away.

PISCES (Feb 21- March 20)
You will feel even more idealistic about love this month than usual. You are a deep and emotional person to begin with, and you will trust that the world will bring people together just perfectly. If you don’t already believe in this sort of fate, then start believing in it now. Your need to have a perfect union is strong and you have to have faith that everything in the relationship and partnership areas of your life will turn out just right. Pisces occasionally gets criticized for having blinders on and for being in its own world; but sometimes a little blind faith goes a long, long way. One sign gets the benefit of having the planets of luck and love combine in its sector of dreams, hopes, and wishes for the next several weeks. Tag, Pisces, you’re it.