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Texting vs. Calling- Part 2

If you missed part 1 of my story, you can check it our here
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We just finished a back and forth text conversation, so at this point I figured I must have misread her and that their was some potential interest.

The next day or the day after, I called her and left a voice message.  Can you take a wild guess what happened???

NOTHING……

Ok, lets review for a minute.    I initially called her and had a very good phone conversation.  I called a few days later and she never called back.  I decided to text her and she responded back instantly and we had a back and forth “text conversation.”   I figure that there is some potential interest, so I put in a phone call over the next few days.  No return phone call.

Now at this point, I have had enough, but had to follow through and use this experience for research.   I only “chase” for so long, and then it is time to move on.

I waited a few days and texted her.  Once again, she immediately responded back being very friendly, asking how my weekend was, maybe we will get together, blah blah blah.  I texted back “would like to get to know you better, but I am really not into this back and forth text thing.  You have my number, so give a call and we can talk.”  She responded back that she didn’t recall getting any phone messages from me and that she would call, which she didn’t.

No biggie here, just reinforces things I have read for a while.  If someone is really interested in you, they will pick up the phone.  The texting allows you to keep your toe in the water without actually jumping in.

Some of the good responses from the first part of the blog are:

  • “O.K., I for one cannot stand the ritual of ‘texting’ as a means of communicating with dates, especially in the beginning when you really don’t know each other. I’m o.k. with a text to say, “Hi! Will you be around later so that we can chat on the phone?”, and with an actual phone call that follows! I know that nerves come into play, but, really, what happened to calling someone (men) and then returning the phone call (women)???”
  • “I can honestly say that I have done the text rather than call scenario. Texting is my way of chickening out. I wont return a phone call if I am not really interested, but I will return a text because I feel bad. Sound horrible? Yes, I know it does…but its the truth!”
  • “Texting should be the “in between” communication, not the real communication. I’ll sometimes respond to a vmail with a text, “Got your message, I’ll call you around 8″ or something like that. If I’m meeting someone at a restaurant or a bar, I’ll text when I get there, “Just arrived, are you inside?” Not really a fan of using texting as conversation.”
  • “Texting is very lame and I find it’s the trend…and a cowardly way of communicating back. Men who are either in relationships–and unable to have a conversation because their time is limited will usually text. The same goes for women, who are not necessarily busy–but have too much going on. Yes…it’s the easy way out–but getting to know someone should not be about what is easy. And if someone has such limited time that they have to text–they don’t have room for anyone in their lives. Texting in general is time-consuming, impersonal and thoughtless…unless you are texting to confirm plans and are unable to speak due to work, or you already know each other–and just want to firm up details, such where, when and how? That simple.”

Technology has created such an impersonal platform for dating now. Such a shame. If a phone call is “too much work”–for either a man or woman–don’t bother wasting your valuable time with someone like that.

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2 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    I found that some of my boyfriends and I have texted to “say hi” or flirt a little bit, in between phone calls, those first few weeks. I enjoyed that aspect, quite a bit. But it was never the only means of communication, if the relationship was going anywhere.

  2. Maryellen says:

    Jay, I was getting these obnoxious texts about parties and garbage and the texter was using nasty language I don’t enploy, and don’t want to read. I texted her back saying she had the wrong person. She went ballistic in nasty texts back saying we were married. I am not married to anyone, let alone another woman. I let her know again she had the wrong number, and to stop bothering me or I would press harassment charges. She stopped. Maybe your “friend” confused your texts with someone else? I like texting quick messages, but some of my friends have long conversations rather than picking up the phone. Texting should just be a quick message, until a real voice conversation can happen. Oh, about not being married, one of these days I will have to come to another of your events. Maybe he will be there this time.

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