Friends with Benefits?
Jay,
Can you please post this and see if your readers can give some feedback?
Thanks
Brian
“I have had a female friend for over 5 years. We talk about everything and really have become great friends. Although I am insanely attracted to her, I know long term it could never work because we are just so different and would continue to butt heads.  We never actually hooked up, but one time last year she was a little drunk and kissed me. When I saw the preview for the movie “Friends with Benefits”, it got me thinking again. We are both single, are very comfortable with each other, and wonder if anything could happen. Although she probably wouldn’t admit it, I think she may have thought about this as well.
My question is whether it would really be possible for us to continue being friends if anything physical happened between us.
Any ideas?”
Thanks and look forward to hearing what people think.
Brian.
We set an event to see this romantic comedy as a group on Sunday, July 24th. Details
FWB is a bad idea, you want a healthy relationship, this is a complete waste of time
Avoid it like the recently discovered super mutated gonnorhea
and run for the hills !!
I know friends with benefits is possible because I have done it BUT, and there is always a but, usually one person starts to develop stronger feelings than the other and if it is not mutual, there will be bits of tension and then resentment by the person with the stronger feelings.
If you really value your friendship, keep things as they are and let life take you where you need to be. Good Luck!
Sure,
But only if…
your new girl (after her) is not as “good” as her
AND
her new guy (after you) is not as “good” as you.
When getting physical, females produce more of the chemical called oxytocin. This is the “bonding” chemical that supports the bonding between mother and baby; it also supports the “cuddling” need.
As much as we live in a culture that tells us we won’t have any connections by sleeping around, there are a lot of people just kidding themselves. Studies have begun to show the increased rates of depression because of this “friends with benefits” phenomenon, particularly with young women.
It is so hard to be in a FWFB situation. As someone above stated inevitably one usually begins to have stronger feelings and wants more and then the one that is content with the way it is resents the pressure and jealousy. I think in a situation like this the one that agrees to this really wants more and hopes it will develop to more but if it hasnt pre-benefit then it certainly wont after benefits. I think it would be a very rare situation where you have two people that it works for.
As someone who just experienced being that Friend with Benefits, it is quite hard to be physical with that ‘friend’ and have him not call you, or even acknowledge you, for days or even weeks. I thought that this relationship would work out, but I realized that he just didn’t care for me the way that I wanted him to. I was basically just someone to ‘hook up with’ when he was lonely. I am still experiencing heartbreak over it. Truth be told, it does NOT work out, no matter how much you hope that it does.
Dont worry about her liking you. Just get yourselves drunk again and go for it dummy.
Agreed with all .. it doesn’t work and you don’t remain friends. Been there and done that.. jealousy always enters the situation and one person usually wants to be more than just friends. It’s very difficult to go from being so intimate with someone and then it being over and still be able to be friends with this person.
Unfortunately, one person in this scenario is going to be heartbroken. And I actually was in a situation where I didn’t want a relationship–enjoyed his company, yet felt that it just wasn’t long-term for me…and wanted to date on the side. This caused mixed feelings and conflict (even as friends). Thankfully-after all the hurt and exchange of words we remained friends…but don’t speak often at all. Things can never go back to the way they were–before sex got into the picture. Sex will always complicate things. There are absolutely NO “benefits” to a person in a Friends with Benefits situation. Too complicated because as humans, emotions have a way of getting involved and changing the dynamics between 2 people.
As all have stated above….. if you really care about keeping this a true and lasting friendship, then DON’T DO IT!!!! IT WILL LEAVE YOU REGRETTING IT AND LOSING A DEAR FRIEND.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! YOU ARE EITHER TRUE FRIENDS OR CAUSUAL BENEFIT PARTBERS. YOU CANNOT BE BOTH