How to avoid bad first dates
This article is written by David Wygant- Dating coach for Men and Women. Get his contact info below/
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Let’s all admit it … First dates can be, well — kinda awful!
It’s not that you don’t like the girl you’re on the date with, and it’s not that you don’t want to HAVE the date at all…
It’s that first dates can feel tense, awkward, pressured, and downright stressful sometimes.
And to tell you the truth … I used to REALLY not have fun on a lot of first dates.
Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever felt like this about first dates?
So what’s going on here?
Well there is something that happens on a large numbers of first dates that really set a first date up for FAILURE (or at least make it as difficult as possible to have a great time)
So now let’s get back to talking about what can really KILL any potential for success on a first date.
What do you usually plan for a first date? I mean, where do you usually take your dates on a first date?
Hmmm… Let me guess…
Dinner? (and maybe a movie)
Putting aside the issue of this being a total cliché, it’s also about the WORST option you can choose for a first date.
And here’s why…
Actually, let me ask you a question first.
Why on earth would you take someone out for dinner on a first date … unless of course the woman is homeless and she needs a good meal?
To sit across from somebody and watch them chew down food while you tell each other the same stories you’ve told a hundred times is boring!
(It is also a cliché … Well, it is — so I had to say it even though I said I wouldn’t…)
The reason why most of us don’t enjoy dating is because we go out on dinner dates.
Now granted, having dinner with someone is fantastic when you’re with a person whose company you enjoy and with whom you already have some sort of relationship.
There’s one BIG difference though on a first date — Think about whether this is true or not …
(and I’m betting for you, like most of us, it is)
Being forced to sit at a table exchanging resumes with a total stranger is the reason why most of us don’t like to date, but yet we still conduct dinner dates.
So what are the alternatives to the boring clichéd dinner date?
Now before you get ready for me to bust out a numbered “Top Ten Things To Do Instead Of A Dinner Date” lists, though, it’s NOT because I think we have been ‘top 10 listed’ to death on the Internet.
PLUS…
It’s really time YOU figured out what YOU like to do, and also listened to what the person you’re interested in likes to do, so you can come up with clever dates.
Don’t worry, though, cause I am going to help get your thinking started and I am going to give you examples of some of the things I like to do.
By doing that, it will help you so you can make up your own personal list.
***DAVID’S FAVORITE FIRST DATES***
I like to check out new neighborhoods by walking around and checking out the stores. (That’s one of my favorite dates).
I like to do dragio – which is hiking and dragging my lazy dog up the hill. This is a great first date to just talk and enjoy the outdoors.
I enjoy going to art galleries.
I like to walk along the beach.
I enjoy going to fun coffee and tea shops and sampling new teas.
These are some of the things that I enjoy doing. So when I have a first date, I listen to what they like — then what I do is make the date fun.
You do this because, if you think about it, when you do get into a relationship with someone you will not spend every evening exchanging resumes over dinner.
You’re going to be doing things you both enjoy.
By picking something more interesting than dinner for a first date, you are also giving each other fun things to talk about while you’re shoppi ng together…
OR walking on the beach together… OR going to Target together… OR doing WHATEVER might be fun for you…
The reason why so many of us don’t like to date is because it is so formal.
Dinner dates are formal and boring. You spend the night evaluating each other, then you come home and you’re evaluating each other some more with your friends.
Activity dates are fun and memory-building.
(And any of you who are familiar with what I teach know how important I believe it is for you to be memorable in life …)
So instead of asking all of you to make a list of 50 great dates, I would like to have you concentrate on thinking of great first date ideas that YOU enjoy…
So now, unless you are dating a homeless woman who really needs to be fed, it’s time to get creative in your dating!
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