Can’t attract the opposite sex?
By David Wygant, Dating Coach
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EMAIL FROM A READER
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“Dear David,
I want you to know how HARD I’ve been working practicing talking to women every day. I go out every day and make it my goal to find and talk to as many pretty women as possible. The problem is that I still don’t ever attract women if I don’t approach them first.
Why is that? What’s going on?
Shawn”
Let me tell you everyone, my reader Shawn — as well intentioned as he is — is making a critical mistake that so many of you make… …and it reflects a failure to understand a KEY and CORE understanding of how attraction works.
So here was my answer to Shawn…
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MY ANSWER TO SHAWN’S EMAIL
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Hey Shawn,
Thanks for your email! I first want to commend you for putting in the effort and work that you’re putting into mastering these skills…and you WILL get to where you want to be.
I promise!
The reason you’re having trouble is because you do not really understand how attraction works. One of the most common questions I get from both men and women is how they can become more attractive to members of the opposite sex.
The problem is that most people who struggle with attracting the opposite sex really don’t understand what creates attraction.
So what makes someone attractive to the opposite sex? What makes someone attractive in general?
As you know, Shawn, (and as anyone who is familiar with my work knows), one of the core principles I teach is that you need to put out good energy in order to attract people.
People are attracted to those who are positive, who smile, who are open and who are enjoying their life. People who walk around angry, unhappy and with closed body language will not attract anyone.
These are not new concepts to you or anyone who has read me, although they are always important enough to reiterate over and over again! 🙂
Here’s what is so interesting though.
Even people who understand this concept tend to make a mistake in how they try to apply this — and Shawn, you are one of those people.
This is where you are running into trouble… The number one mistake that men and women make when they go out and try to meet someone of the opposite sex is . . . that they go out to try and meet people of the opposite sex.
Sound familiar?
That is, they go out with laser focus trying to locate and talk to people they are attracted to while ignoring everyone else. If you understand what creates attraction, though, you know that it is created not just by how you interact with someone you want to attract but also by how you interact in general with the world around you.
Similarly, you attract members of the opposite sex not only by how you interact with them individually, but by how they see you interact with others.
In fact, although it may initially seem counterintuitive to you, you will actually begin to attract MORE members of the opposite sex the minute you stop focusing on trying to attract certain people and you start focusing on how to just become attractive in general.
To become really successful at meeting and connecting with members of the opposite sex, you need to really get this concept. Shawn, keep up the great work!
Until next time…
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