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From Tesh.com

Romance-Killing Habits You Should Stop

Ladies, does your romance feel like it’s gotten OFF track? Even if you THINK you’ve been giving it your all, some behaviors you may not be aware of can trip up even the strongest relationships. Here are a few romance-killing habits you need to stop, from the researchers at Rodale Publishing.

Incessant teasing. You’re always ribbing your guy about his grubby Red Sox jersey – but is he really taking it all in good fun? Not always. Psychologist Noelle Nelson, the author of The Power of Appreciation in Every Day Life, says when teasing or criticism comes from the woman he loves, a man often interprets it as rejection. It’s like saying, “I want to change THIS about you.” Nelson says this is when a man tends to withdraw, and can become more attracted to people who he feels accept him as is. Not necessarily other women, although that can happen, but he might start spending more time with his buddies. So, lay off the harsh teasing.

Showing up fashionably late – ALL THE TIME. Nelson says flexible arrival times may be cool with your girlfriends, but not with your guy. Tardiness is disrespectful – period. You’re sending the message that he’s not as important as your work, or your yoga class – and it’s another form of rejection. Nelson says when you have a date, assume that it’ll take you 50% MORE time to get to wherever you’re going. That’ll give you enough of a buffer so you won’t be late.

Thinking, “What’s yours is ours.” Grabbing a drink out of his fridge is fine, but when you assume that being in a relationship gives you the right to borrow his stuff without asking, or go poking through his mail – you’ve crossed the line. Dr. Jackie Black, a relationship coach and author of Meet Your Match, says there are NO assumptions in an emotionally healthy relationship. If your man hasn’t clearly stated that it’s OK for you to open his credit card bill or use his laptop, DON’T. Every couple should have a discussion about the things each of you prefer to keep private. It’s not about being secretive, it’s about maintaining a sense of independence in a committed relationship – which is essential to long-term love.

From tesh.com

Tips for Emailing a Potential Online Date

Let’s set the scene: You’ve filled out your online dating profile, picked out a potential date or two, and you’re ready to introduce yourself via email. Stop right there! If you say the wrong thing, you may wreck your chances of making a real connection. So, here are the dos and don’ts to remember before you press “send.” This comes from CNN, and relationship expert, Wendy Atterberry:

The first online dating email tip: Keep it short. Think of dating emails as appetizers. You want to keep your date hungry for more, not ruin their appetite by providing entrée-size portions.

Then: Don’t double-email. In other words, send only one email for each email you receive. Atterberry says writing several emails before you’ve gotten a reply to the first one makes you look obsessed and desperate.

Ask at least one question in each email. Some people have a hard time figuring out what to write to someone they don’t know. So make it easy by giving them at least one question to respond to.

Also, don’t rant. It’s okay to make a quick joke about the neighbor who waits for the elevator instead of walking up one flight of stairs. However, Atterberry says it’s obnoxious to write a five-paragraph essay about how lazy and self-absorbed everybody is.

Wait at least 12 hours to reply. If you respond immediately, you look like you’ve got nothing better to do, and replying too soon can make them feel pressed to try to keep up with you.

Don’t confess your secrets, insecurities, or job frustrations. If you have to confess something, admit that you skipped your weekend workout to hit a jazz festival in your neighborhood. It’s not a deep, dark secret, and it’ll give them an idea about your hobbies and interests.

Finally: Be cautious about sharing personal information. Remember: This person is a stranger. So, don’t share your last name, home address, work location, or personal email address. You don’t want a stranger to know where you live and work before you know a lot more about them.

From Tesh.com

Should You Settle for “Mr. OK” Instead of Waiting for “Mr. Right”?

Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.

Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.

Should You Settle for “Mr. OK” Instead of Waiting for “Mr. Right”?

Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.

Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.

From Tesh.com

What Should You Talk About on a First Date?

You’d think the hardest part of a first date is getting up the courage to ask someone out, but experts say it’s actually figuring out what to talk about on your date! So, here’s how to have a first date conversation that could lead to that all-important date #2, courtesy of the researchers at News Corp.

When asking personal questions, tread carefully around past romances. Their last relationship could have ended badly, and you don’t want to start your potential relationship out on the wrong foot. Also, avoid asking about their parents. They could have unresolved issues that are too serious for a first-date conversation. Instead, ask about their siblings. Brothers and sisters usually trigger good feelings, and your questions show that you’re interested in their family life.

Ask about their likes and dislikes on things like food, sports, hobbies, and travel. Finding common ground can lead to other topics, like where your date would like to go on their next vacation or what movie they’d like to see tomorrow night.

Another good topic of conversation: Work. For the most part, people like to talk up their job, no matter how mundane it is. Listening to their spiel will also give you an idea whether they’re a workaholic, a slacker, or a dreamer.

You should also ask about their friends. Hearing what someone’s friends are like, how they met, and what they do for fun can give you great insight into your date’s personality, and how they interact with other people.

Finally – if your date is leaning in and fully engaged in the conversation, go ahead and broach the subject of future plans. If they’re looking around the room, giving you one-word answers, or picking up their cellphone to check for text messages – date number one may be the first and last.

By Chris Tyler

So, you’ve met or know a woman that you just cannot seem to get out of your mind. Everywhere you go and everything that you do, you find yourself drifting back to thoughts of her. You want to be able to make her fall in love. You want her to say that she feels the same way about you. Feeling like this and NOT knowing what to do to make her feel the same is not a fun spot to be in.

You have to be able to make her feel the same way for you.

How should you go about it?

1. Never start off with a woman trying to be everything to her. You are only going to set yourself up for failure and a big letdown if you try to be everything to a woman. Trying to be everything for a woman does nothing but too much pressure on you also make her see you as a friend or a buddy and nothing more. To get to the point where she feels real attraction for you, you want it to be for something more than just doing favors for a woman.

2. You’ve got to get her dancing. What I mean by this, is that you have to lead, but she has to follow you. If you flirt with her, if you do anything at all to build attraction with her, then you have to make sure that she responds. If she doesn’t, then you either have to try something else or move on. Most guys will keep pushing forward even when they are not getting anything back from a woman and then they wonder why they never get to be more to her.

3. Create sexual tension with a woman. This is a necessary part of making a woman fall in love with you. The difference between a platonic love that a woman feels for her friend and one that she’s in love with in a romantic way is the sexual attraction. If you don’t do a thing to make her feel sexual attraction when she is with you, then you are going to have to get used to just a platonic love with her.

It might seem to be a challenge or almost improbable to make a woman fall in love, but you can learn how. Your focus has to be more on making her feel a certain way than it is on doing things for her.

From About.com

Struggling to meet someone new? Following these simple yet insightful dating rules might be just be exactly what you need.

Love Yourself First

Have you ever noticed that happy people get more attention? And if you are happy with yourself, it shows. So in order to attract more people into your life for dating purposes, focus on the things that make you happy. Try writing a large piece of paper full of ideas that you can use in a pinch, such as taking a hot bath, going for a bike ride or filling your home with plants. Then, pick three items from this list every day with conscious effort, knowing that the time you take tending to increasing your own personal joy will increase the pull others feel to learn more about who you are.

If you shake your head within seconds of meeting someone, rank them against a checklist in your head, or have stringent guidelines about who you will and won’t meet, it is time to revamp your relationship expectations. When trying to meet someone new, it is imperative that you let go of your preconceived notions about who the perfect partner is.Cut Ties To Your Ex

Although this dating rule may be contentious for some readers, it is still an important step in the dating process. Just like a spring cleaning clears your space of clutter and cobwebs, removing an ex still present in your life after a breakup can free you to meet someone new. Of course there are circumstances where this may not be possible – such as if you have children together or work in the same office. But whenever possible, you need to remove your ex from your personal life, even if it is only temporary.Let Go of Dating Myths

Dating is exhausting and not worth my time. I’ll never meet The One. All the good ones are taken.

These three statements are myths about dating that seriously require thought if they are going through your head. Dating isn’t about negative thoughts; its about meeting as many interesting people as you can while having faith that you’ll meet someone special.

Following this dating rule means you need to stop focusing on the person you are trying to meet, and focus on the spotlight instead on yourself.

Face Your Dating Fears

Feeling anxious or upset about the prospects of meeting someone new usually translates into fear. If the thoughts of never meeting someone special, being upset that your last partner refused to commit, or convincing yourself you aren’t worth dating are taking over your thought processes, it is time to face your dating fears. By not following this dating rule and ignoring the issues, your inability to risk losing your heart will stop you from meeting someone special.Learn How To Flirt

Too attract new people, you’ll need to show them you are interested – which means learning how to flirt. Virtually every single first encounter that leads to more starts with a smile, so this dating rule suggests smiling at everyone you encounter, without qualification. As well, understanding body language is a crucial part of meeting someone new and cannot be overlooked.Accept All Dates

If you want to follow the rules of dating to meet someone new, its time to stop making snap decisions about the people who ask you out for a date. If someone asks you for coffee, it is your responsibility to accept it, barring any issues with safety of course. A date is just a date – not a marriage proposal. It’ll only take an hour or two, and by accepting all dates you’ll move closer to meeting someone special while perfecting your notions of what kind of person you’d like to have in your life.

from http://www.about.com/

You see someone from across the room and think: Wow. I want to meet them. But how can you be sure that your body language conveys your true intentions – to flirt?

These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you’d like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back — because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.

How To Flirt With Your Eyes

Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn’t hurt. According to the book, “The Definitive Guide of Body Language,” by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt will – on average – need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.

How To Flirt By Preening

There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking – all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.

How To Flirt With A Smile

There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don’t respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you’ve got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.

How To Flirt By Pointing

No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to ‘point’ at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them – even if you aren’t speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or ‘closing off’ a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).

How To Flirt Using Touch

Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either ‘accidentally’ or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a “higher level of intimacy” according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person’s arms to very gently ‘move’ them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren’t quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.

from http://www.tesh.com/

“Love Laws” for The Dating World

Ladies, are you jumping back into the dating pool? Then I’ve got a few “Love Laws” for you: Rock-solid truths about men and becoming a couple that’ll help you avoid a lot of drama and mental anguish. This comes from the experts at Condé Nast Publications.

Law #1: If a guy you meet doesn’t call you in a week, he’s not interested. You may think he’s just busy, or lost your number, but don’t kid yourself. Clinical psychologist Judith Shervan says it doesn’t matter how busy he is. If he’s interested, he’ll find five minutes to call. Bottom line: If he leaves you hanging for more than three days, take that as a definite sign he’s not interested, and move on.

The next law of love: By date number three, you may start to notice his flaws, but that’s not a bad thing! Dr. James Aniechowski is the coauthor of Be Loved for Who You Really Are. He says noticing flaws – like the fact that he wears the same jeans every day – means you’re subconsciously evaluating him as a long-term partner, and working through your nerves about your future together. So, instead of thinking, “Can I live with someone who’s a football freak?” Think, “Am I ready for a long-term commitment?”

The third law of love: No man wants to be your best friend. Michael Gurian, the author of How a Man’s Mind Really Works, says men like a little mystery. They tend to get overwhelmed if you share too much information. In other words, he doesn’t want to hear the play-by-play of your average workday. Or listen to an analysis of the fight you just had with your mother. Instead, stick with topics that relate to your life together, like, “What are we doing for dinner?” Or, “What do you want to save money for, a house or a vacation?”

The final law of love: You’ll discover something that proves Mr. Right isn’t perfect. Like, he was briefly married at 18. Or he earned a GED instead of graduating from high school. Dr. Kate Wachs is the author of Relationships for Dummies. She says not to make a big deal out of something that isn’t an issue anymore. Bottom line: Do you love him because he’s sweet, hilarious, and talented – or because you thought he’d never been married before?