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Ever heard the saying “Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears.”

A few recent conversations seems to reinforce this, but what do you think?

Coversation with Laurie

I went out to lunch with my friend Laurie who told me about a recent dating experience. She was set up on a blind date and had absolutely no attraction to the guy. By the end of the date, he said or did a few things that grew on her, and she agreed to go out with him again. By the end of the second or third date, she started to genuinely like the guy. So he went from having no shot, to having this great gal start to like him as more than a friend.

Guys, does this hold true for you? If you are not initally attracted to a woman, but start to like her personality, could it go past a friend stage? Ladies, has the above type of scenario happened to you?

Coversation #2- See video below from Toni.

Toni recently attended a speed dating event. She told me that she came in, looked at the guys and wanted to walk out the back door because she did not see anyone she was attracted to. Another nice lady, stopped her from leaving, and explained that it would really mess Jay up because the gender balance would be off. Thus Tami stayed.

Good thing she did, because she is completely gaga for a guy she met at the event. She went from having no attraction to anyone, to having a guy that she is crazy about.

Guys, same question? If you are not initially attracted, but start to really like her personality, could it go past the friend stage? Ladies, has this happened to you?

From www.Tesh.com

The “Dos” and “Don’ts” of Text-Flirting

Let’s face it: Dating was complicated enough before cell phones. Now, many new couples express their affection for each other in text messages more than in person! Unless you know what you’re doing, so-called “text flirting” can either improve your relationship or send your date packing! So, let’s break down some “dos” and “don’ts” of text flirting, with relationship intel we found on CNN:

DON’T plan your first date with a text message. Most women agree that guys should make an effort to actually dial a phone and call them at the start of a relationship. Otherwise, a text invitation to spend time together will feel too informal, and your date won’t feel like you respect her. One woman interviewed by CNN put it this way: If a guy she barely knew started sending her flirty text messages, it’d feel like a total stranger using pick-up lines! Creepy.
However, after your first date:

DO let the text flirting begin. The women interviewed by CNN agreed that text-flirting can be fun after you’ve established chemistry with someone. The texts don’t have to be long and poetic. Something as simple as “thinking of you” is enough. The key is to send your flirty texts at random, unexpected times. They’ll feel more genuine that way.

DON’T use emoticons in your flirty texts! Again, this was something the women interviewed by CNN were unanimous about. They said sideways smiley faces, and lovey-dovey heart symbols, are annoying enough when they come from other women. So just don’t do it.
If the relationship doesn’t work out, DON’T break up with a text. Most women agree that’s tacky! Even if you can’t muster the willpower to break up in person, you should at least extend the courtesy of a phone call.

By the way: It should go without saying that “sexting” your new date is a definite DON’T, because the women interviewed by CNN said they’d do one of two things if they received half-naked photos from a guy on their phone: They’d either show all their friends for a good laugh or they’d call the police.

Hi, please let me know what you think of this proposed free event.

Safe alternatives to CD’s for singles

With CD’s paying 1-2%, I went on a hunt to find a safe alternative and was introduced to the world of Triple Tax Free Municipal Bonds.

Bonds? What?? You Crazy?? I am not tying my money up for 30 years!!.

After I was educated a little more about bonds, I found they seem to be a pretty safe investment and DO NOT require you to keep them to maturity.

So………..

Are you interested in a free 30-45 minute event where you can learn about understanding bonds and how they may be a great alternative to cd’s? This event would be held by a licensed financial advisor and WOULD NOT…I repeat WOULD NOT be a sales pitch. It would be educational in nature.

If enough people are interested (leave me a comment below or email me at Info@WeekendDating.com) I will set it up.

PS- The event would come with some free food 🙂

Thanks

Jay

PSS- Full Disclosure- I recently bought Triple Tax Free municipal bonds myself, however would not receive any value from this

From www.Tesh.com

Bad Reasons to Break Up

Sometimes it’s clear when a relationship has run its course, but some couples throw in the towel before they’ve really tried to make it work. They think some problems are impossible to work through. So, here are a few BAD reasons to break up. These are from Dr. Neil Clark Warren, author of Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons:

The first bad break-up reason: You’ve had a big fight. Disagreeing is inevitable – you know that. What you may not know is that having a conflict with your partner will strengthen your bond in the long run. Psychologists agree that the way you resolve your differences can help your relationship climb to new levels. It helps you understand your partner better – what sets them off, what makes them tick. So don’t head for the door when you don’t see eye-to-eye. Stay put and talk it out.

Bad breakup reason #2: Your partner finds other people attractive. Yes, you’ve captured your partner’s heart – but you haven’t poked out their eyes! Physically attractive people are everywhere – on TV, on billboards, and yes – even in the local supermarket. The experts say it’s naïve to think that these people will go unnoticed. In a good, committed relationship, people aren’t cut off to external influences – including you. It’s acting on those influences that’s a recipe for disaster. So no matter where you are or who you’re with – act as if your partner can hear and see everything you’re doing.

One last bad reason to break-up: The relationship doesn’t always make you happy. Here’s a newsflash: your relationship doesn’t exist JUST to make you happy. You’re still responsible for yourself, for accomplishing your individual goals and for keeping yourself entertained. If you’ve abandoned all your hobbies and ambitions because you’re expecting your relationship to fulfill all your needs – you’ve made a fatally BAD MOVE. That’s too much pressure for your partner, and too high of an expectation from your relationship. So take responsibility for your own happiness.

If you don’t, you’ll just keep jumping from partner to partner, because ultimately, nobody can make you happy but yourself.

Enjoy!

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.When they get there, St. Peter says,

‘We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don’t step on the ducks!’
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained
for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps..
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

…. very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,

‘I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’
The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Source: http://www.more.com/2041/6566-why-do-men-in-their

Why Do Men in Their 40s Think I’m Old?
by Rachel Greenwald Guest Writer

Dear Rachel,

I’m single at 44 years old, and men who are near my age seem only to be interested in younger women. I’m active and feel very young, and everyone says I look much younger than my age, but when men in their forties can (and do) date women in their thirties, and when they don’t even respond to my emails through online dating, it makes me feel ancient! How can I overcome this problem?

Signed,
Ancient in Atlanta

Dear Ancient,

This is a real issue, and I see it everywhere. Men in their 40’s often date women in their 30’s (even 20’s!); men in their 50’s often date women in their 40’s (even 30’s!). This leaves a gaping hole in the singles arena of fabulous women looking for men near their age. The U.S. Census (2008) echoes this problem: there are 30 million single women and only 20 million single men over 40. Yikes! It reminds me of the lost-sock-in-the-dryer phenomenon: you put two socks in the clothes dryer, but only one sock comes out. Where did the other sock go? And where did all the single men your age go? The answer is that men date younger, and men die younger too.

Okay, so we know the reality and it’s unfair, but it’s not hopeless. It requires a shift in your thinking to view this problem differently. Instead of asking yourself, “Why do men in their 40’s think I’m too old?”, you should be asking, “Who thinks I’m young? And who thinks I’m hot?” Now, with these questions, there seem to be two answers: much older men and much younger men. Fifty to 60-year old men think a 44-year old is young, and some men in their late 20’s and 30’s think a 44-year old is hot.

Now, before you start screaming that you don’t want to marry an old man or a baby, consider this core principle from the business world: “You have to sell what people want to buy.” If you’re trying to sell the most delicious candy bar in the world, but all your customers want to buy ice cream, you should sell ice cream. Sure, there are not many women whose first choice is to marry someone 10+ years older or younger, but if that’s the reality of whom you attract, and you really want to find a loving partner, it’s better to face it now rather than spend years alone trying to “sell” something few people want to “buy.”

This doesn’t mean you are going to “settle”: of course not! I want you to find someone wonderful, but “wonderful” isn’t defined by a number. And it doesn’t mean you have to give up on the men closer to your age, but it DOES mean that you need to cast a wider net. Change your online profile to search for men ages 29 to 59, and tell your friends you’re open to fix-ups in this wider age range. Be open to the possibility that Mr. Right may come wrapped in a totally different package (much older or much younger) than you’ve always envisioned. Remember that your real goal is to find happiness, which is age-less.

Last week was our first Mature Women (ages 36-48), younger Man (ages 27-41) speed dating event and I will admit that I was surprised at the turnout and the overall positive feedback. About 95% of the participants received at least one match or one-way match.

I can admit this now, but when I first posted the event, I thought the chance of a successful turnout would have been about 25%. The overwhelming majority of guys I speak with are still looking for a gal that is a bit younger, however times are changing and more guys in their 20’s and 30’s are open to meeting a woman a little bit older.

I am exploring the possibility of doing another Mature Women, Younger Man event. If you are a man in your 30’s or 40’s who is interested in meeting women in their late 40’s and 50’s, please email me at Info@WeekendDating.com

Since I was wrong about the event above being a success, I open up the suggested event proposal below (Older Men, Younger Women) to your comments.

Thanks

————————————————————————————————-
Hi Jay,

I noticed that you have done an older women younger men speed dating event, so why not do younger women older men; possibly females 33-43,males 49-59. Possibly charge the guys more and give the women an incentive to go. Food for thought. Thanks….AT
————————————————————————————————-

Hi AT,

As the end of the summer was approaching, I said it was time for me to get a “new look” and asked my friend Laura for some advice.

She agreed to take me out shopping and we spent a few hours going to different stores and trying on everything from jeans to shirts to work clothes to shoes.
Some guys have a great fashion sense, others know the basics but need some help (me) and others are completely clueless.

Laura said “Jay, you have the color matching down pat, but your clothes just don’t seem to fit right. You need help with the cut. Your jeans don’t fit right in the butt. You also need to mess up your hair a little.”

The end result was that I bought 2 pairs of jeans (that fit right), 3 pullover shirts, two button down shirts and a few sports coats. I was comfortable with everything purchased, but did leave a few suggested items out (they were just not me). We ran out of time, so I didn’t get to ask her about the hair style suggestion or shoes, so that will come next.

I wore my new outfits over the next few days and felt like a million bucks.
As we were shopping, the light bulb went off. There are a LOT of other guys that could benefit from getting a new look and I am helping Laura start up a business for it.

Bottom Line
Guys, years ago women were burned at the stake for being “witches.” It was not that they were witches, it was that they were just so intuitive and things came so naturally to them, that took us guys a lot to learn.

So, if what you are doing now is not working with attracting women, MAKE A CHANGE. An easy way is to ask a trusted female friend to give you her honest advice on your look and take you out shopping.

If you do not have a female friend you trust to do this with, Laura is available to go shopping with you, and give you an honest opinion on your “look.”

She is available in Nassau and Suffolk only at this time. She charges $99 for up to two hours.

For a very limited time, any guys who sign up for this package will also get a free regular speed dating ($40 value) event thrown in (but you must wear your new clothes to the event).

Ladies, I am curious to know if you think there is a market to offer these services to ladies as well?

Guys, have you been on a few dates with a woman, things seem to be going well, she eventually gets to see where you live, and then BAM, she is never to be heard from again??

Well, it is possible that your home is not women friendly! Little things that as guys, we would think is no big deal, can be a major turnoff for some women, and for others a total deal breaker.

I recently had a very attractive female friend stay with me for a week while she was in town on business. We have been friends for about 6 and a half years and she slept in the same bed with me, so I do trust her judgment.
[PS. Nothing happened. My dad has since disowned me and several friends have asked me if I have gone over to the other side. For the record, I have not gone over to the other side, “not that there is anything wrong with that” -Seinfeld

Ok back to the story. Lets just say that the week was a major learning experience. From the layout of my apartment, to some of my clothes, to the color of my walls, having a regular plastic garbage can instead of a stainless steel that matched the rest of the kitchen., I got some constructive feedback, some of which I agreed with, and some of which I did not.

She also threw out 90% of my undershirts. Well she didn’t actually throw them out, she gave the shirts to her dog to use as a bed. Why?? They were worn out. I let her give them to the dog because she did have a point.
Did I do everything she suggested?? Nope, however I do keep it in mind, and will make some changes little by little.

Other female friends have told me that they look at a guys toothbrush, check out the bathtub and much more if going to a guys home. Some things raise some red flags and others can make her never return again.

————————————————————————————
What should you do?- Ask a female Friend

Guys, if you have a good female friend that you trust, ask her to come over and give you her honest opinion of any possible things that may scare a woman if they visit. Ask her for an honest opinion on your clothes and see if she will go shopping with you (if your wardrobe needs an overhaul).

Or, I have some female friends who can help you

I have have a few very attractive female friends who will visit your home to help with ideas to make it more appealing, let you know if you need to burn your clothes, and can even take you shopping.
I do not know what they will charge, but if you are interested, please email me at info@WeekendDating.com and I will find out.

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