Article by Lauren Goode

When it comes to scouring dating sites, men tend to look at the pictures more, while women’s eyes linger longer on the text.

We probably didn’t need a formal study to tell us that.

But that’s exactly what Tobii, maker of eye-tracking technology, set out to do.

The Sweden-based company, in collaboration with AnswerLab, recently pounced on a bunch of people at a San Francisco coffee shop and asked them to participate in a study in which they’d be examining the dating profiles of members of the opposite sex — and during the session, their eye movements would be tracked by Tobii’s sensors.

After participants viewed mock-up pages of eHarmony.com and Match.com profiles, the verdict was in: Men spent 65 percent more time than women did reviewing photos in profiles; women spent 50 percent more time reading the text about a potential mate’s background and interests.

Women also spent an average of 84 seconds gazing at a profile to determine if it was a match, compared to 58 seconds for men.

The study also revealed that people tend to like dating profiles that they feel are more reflective of the kind they would build for themselves. For example, people that prefer to share lots of personal info gravitated more toward very personal dating profiles, while those that stick to “just the facts, ma’am,” liked profiles that had simpler demographic info and data.

Tobii uses tracking technology that zeroes in on a user’s pupil and calculates the point of gaze using algorithms. For heavy blinkers or those with shifty eyes, the recovery time of Tobii’s sensor is between 100 and 300 milliseconds; it draws an “imaginary box” around the user’s head to account for lots of head movement, as well.

For more info on how it works, check out this video from D9, where Tobii general manager Barbara Barclay demoed how Tobii could help users control their laptops with just their eyeballs. Late last month, the company introduced its X1 Light Eye Tracker, marketed mainly to usability and market researchers.

To demonstrate the usefulness of its eye-tracking tech at the consumer level, Tobii is planning to conduct more studies and present more interesting use cases, Barclay said. The next study, for example, might be even more precise: Instead of examining who is looking at pictures versus text, the next study might shed light on which area of the pictures people’s eyes tend to linger on. (We know what you’re thinking right now.)

Ultimately, these types of studies could be most useful for advertisers, as well as Web companies.

The study showed that when there was a great deal of ad content on the right-hand side of a profile page, participants would be distracted by the ads and avert their eyes from the profile information. Great news for advertisers, but bad news for those who want to remain focused on the task at hand.

It’s important to note that the sample for this study was very small: The company managed to convince more than 40 people to try it out, but had to throw away a handful of samples due to inconclusive data, which can be caused by certain types of glasses, lazy or droopy eyes, or an extreme amount of gaze-shifting.

But Tobii’s Barclay says continued testing could help companies determine monetization strategies and how they might conflict with the ultimate goal of a Web site’s content, or to help advertisers make ads more relevant and boost click-through rates.

(Feature photo courtesy of Flickr)

Long Island Singles and NYC Singles:  Is it tacky for a guy to use a coupon on a first or second date?  Or does it make no difference at all?

This past weekend I went to dinner with three single female friends.  It was a really nice place and they were excited that they were able to use a Groupon Coupon deal.    So I asked them what they would think if a guy pulled out the same deal while taking them on a date.

Personally I am a little old school and would feel funny about pulling out a coupon early in the dating process and I was a little surprised at the response.

Two of the three women said it was absolutely fine if a guy used the deal.  “In this economy, I think it is a turn on to see a man who is responsible with his money” said the first woman as the second woman nodded and agreed.  The third woman, however made a face and said it would be an absolute turnoff if a guy did that and that there would be no second date.  “I want a man with money.”

So here is the question for the ladies? Is it tacky for a guy to use a coupon on a first or second date?  Or does it make no difference at all?  Would it influence your decision to go on another date?  Has a guy ever used a coupon while on a date (early in the dating process- 1st or 2nd date)?

Question for the guys– Have you, or do you see any problems with using a coupon on a first or second date?

Looking forward to your responses.

Jay
www.WeekendDating.com
718-757-6933

NOTE: This is NOT an article I wrote (Jay, Weekenddating).  It is relevant to dating and is listed for you to voice your opinion

This Young Woman Scored $1,200 A Month In Fancy Dinners Using Match.com

Madeleine Scinto|Nov. 29, 2011, 3:47 PM

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11#ixzz1fE1M1y3E

A young New Yorker we’ll call Minerva McGonagall* was tired of dipping into her savings to keep up with her Manhattan lifestyle.

Her $45k salary was not enough and she needed at least an extra $500 a month and sometimes $1,000 to pay her credit card bills and afford her $1,475 a month apartment in Murray Hill.

Then she discovered Match.com– the perfect site for a broke 23-year-old.

“Before I barely had enough money to pay for food,” said McGonagall. “After using Match.com I found I wasn’t going into debt anymore.”

McGonagall started eating out five nights a week using a rotation of different guys she met through the dating site. McGonagall kept things simple—no more than five dates with the same guy.

The investment banker types were thrilled to woo her with extraordinary restaurants like the underground taqueria La Esquina and a Japanese restaurant, Megu, in Tribeca. One guy even took her to a champagne bar and purchased a $200 bottle.

McGonagall went from easily spending $500 a month on dinners alone to having someone else dole out an average of $60-plus per night. She also stopped eating lunch and opted for a light breakfast to save even more.

According to our calculations, Sporty made over $1,200 a month.

Match.com does require a $50 monthly subscription, but the dates more than made up for the entry price.

“I mean, a guy buys me three drinks at $15 a pop and that right there made up for my Match fee,” said McGonagall.

McGonagall’s roommates played the money-saving game as well. In fact, McGonagall first learned about online dating after watching one of her roommates go on extravagant outings every night.

Two weeks later, McGonagall and her other roommate joined.

“We made ground rules,” said McGonagall.

One of them called for making spreadsheets about each guy who took them out for their drinks and/or meals. It included names, photos and details from their Match.com accounts.

The girls also let each other know where they were going for the night. And they never let guys pick them up at their apartment and instead met up at a public location.

After awhile at their escapades, they soon learned how prevalent the online dating scene had become in New York City. McGonagall commonly ran into people she recognized from the site, and discovered that others using Match.com averaged at least ten dates before meeting her.

It’s no surprise considering New York City ranks as the number one online dating city, according to a survey of singles by SNAP Interactive, a social media site. But as popular as online dating had become, and as much of a great saving tactic it was, McGonagall eventually tired of the scene.

“It was exhausting,” she said. “I needed my sleep and I was done playing the game.”

McGonagall seems to have retired for good—she currently has a boyfriend.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11#ixzz1fE0YtAEo

How to piss Jay off

I am going to let you in on a little secret as to the best way to get under my skin.  Ready??  It is quite simple..
Pay for an event and then do not show up,  and do not call to cancel.  If you have wondered how to “get my goat”, that is all you need to do.

I DO NOT WANT YOUR MONEY!  Lets clarify that statement.  What I want is to give you your moneys worth and put on a quality event.  Some of you may be saying, “what is the big deal, he has my money, so what if I do not show up.”    We work very hard at keeping a pretty equal gender balance and if you make a commitment to attend, we are turning away other people because the space has been put aside for you.

Hey, this is life and I understand that things can happen.  All I ask is for the heads up if something comes up that prevents you from attending, so that we have a fighting chance to make some adjustments if necessary.  Some of you have been awesome by letting me know (special thanks to Laurie to called me from an emergency room to let me know she couldn’t make it).

Please note that having a lot of no shows for a particular event is rare and certainly not the norm.  Unfortunately it does happen on rare occasions, and if it does, we will always do the right thing by you.    Please call me at 718-757-6933 if you think you have ever not been treated fairly.

How to make Jay happy

This past Saturday  I was hosting an event at Dave & Busters  (PS. Great place to hold a holiday other party.  Call Karen at 631-249-6455).

About half way through the event I noticed two familiar faces coming towards me.  It was Cliff and Laurie.   Laurie was glowing.  They had come by to thank me.  I said “for what” and then Laurie showed me her engagement ring.  Cliff and Laurie had initially met at a RC Dugans speed dating event a few years ago and are getting married next year!

So if you want to make me happy, please keep in touch and share your stories.    It really does mean a lot to me in knowing Weekenddating has played a small part in helping you finding that special someone.  Laurie and Cliff stopping by also reminded me that another reunion event is way overdue.  At the reunion events, we bring back couples who have met through the events and introduce them to other happy couples.  Look for the next reunion event to be announced very soon!

New Free Event

After reconnecting with Laurie and Cliff this past Saturday, I was also reminded that it has been a while since we did a customer appreciation event.  So I have changed our Halloween Mingle (Saturday 10/29 in East Meadow) to a FREE Halloween mingle for the next 30 people who have made a prepaid prior reservation to one of our events within the past 5 years.  This will be an informal mingle, with an icebreaker game, free food and lots of fun singles!

If you qualify and would like the free code, please email me at Info@Weekenddating.com

The details page for the event is at http://www.weekenddating.com/upcoming.shtml?eventid=992

All the best.

Jay
www.weekenddating.com
718-757-6933

Long Island Singles; Speed dating NYC

Long Island Singles

Thanks to everyone who came out this past Saturday to our Long Island Singles BBQ at RJ Daniels in Rockville Centre. The weather held up and we had approximately 80 people. It seems like quite a few potential “like connections” were made.

Congrats to Jeannie who won tickets to the Judy Gold Show, Deborah who won tickets to Love Loss and What I wore, Monty who won tickets to Stomp and to all the other winners of Bowling, Comedy Club and other prizes. Special thanks to Andrea, Vinny and Michele who helped with the organization of the event.

If you didn’t win, we have many of the same prizes available in our prize closet at . You can also get points and trade them in for speed dating discounts.

Thank you

Business has been great, and I have no doubt that it is mainly a result of the positive word of mouth that many of you have been spreading. I can not thank you enough for your kind words.

Success Stories

A frequent question I receive is “do these events really work? Do people really meet?” I am starting to loose track at this point, but I know of approximately 45 couples who have been engaged (35 already married). Two couples tied the knot in June of this year and several other couples have been doing great.   If you know someone who met through our events,  please ask them to drop me a line at info@weekenddating.com or 718-757-6933.  I am planning another reunion event for the happy couples for the first quarter of next year.

Thanks for reading!

Jay
www.weekenddating.com
718-757-6933

Dear Jay:

I was hoping you might ask your female readers to comment on this:

I was talking to a guy friend who was going on and on about this thing he ordered from a magazine called a penis pump. Although I really had no interest in hearing about my friends private parts, he gave me no choice and was raving about how the girl he was with could not believe the difference.

My question is this.. Does size really make a difference to women? I really have no interest in using one of these gizmos and find the whole thing a little bizzare to be honest, but if it really makes a difference to the ladies, then maybe I would reconsider.

Thanks for considering my topic.

Brian

This past weekend I went to a comedy club with several friends. Two of the attendees (Marc & Stacey) were a couple who met about 3 months ago through one of my events.

At the end of the show, Marc & Stacey’s table had a bill totaling $78.46 (the auto gratuity was included in that amount). The 6 people chipped in and gave Marc $80 to pay the waiter. Marc gave the guy 4 $20 bills and waited for $1.54 change.

Lets just say a 15 minute conversation took place on the car ride home. Marc was “scolded” by a few of the ladies including the one he is dating, about how he looked bad by waiting for his change. Marc defended himself and thought he did absolutely nothing wrong.

So what do you think? Did Marc do anything wrong by waiting for his change? Did it make him look like a cheapo? Is money still money and Marc had every right to get his change?
Ladies, if you went out on a first date with a guy and the same thing happened, would it have influenced you as to whether to go out on a second date? Or would you have thought nothing of it?

Written by Dating expert David Wygant

Do you ever feel like it’s a lot of “work” to meet men?

And you wonder why it has to be so hard?

(Here’s a hint – it DOESN’T HAVE TO BE!)

Most of the women I’ve coached over the last 11 years are women who are sincere and really try to learn the best way to meet men, but still struggle…

…and I hate seeing how frustrated they are

They tell me how they’ve read every book out there on how to meet men.

They tell me they’ve tried every “trick” and method that are in those books —

yet it still isn’t working and they’re not meeting (and more importantly not ATTRACTING) men.

Do you ever feel like these women do? Do you just want to know it’s not working for you?

I HAVE GOOD NEWS – and I’m here to tell you that your frustration can come to an end … PERMANENTLY!

What I see so many women missing in their approach to learning how to meet and attract men is that they don’t ENJOY THEMSELVES and their life…

…and, YES, this does impact your dating life!

Meeting men is not about memorizing rules, or learning “do’s and don’ts” – there are some great “tips” I can give you about how to but that is only a small part of the equation.

Being “attractive” starts with you understanding that YOU have the power to be attractive RIGHT NOW!

By creating an amazing lifestyle and being passionate about the things you do, you will start attracting men instead of spending your life chasing them and hoping you’ll connect with them.

Men (and everyone in fact) are attracted to positive, fun, interesting and well-rounded individuals.

If you’re miserable or doing things that you don’t enjoy, you are not going to meet men no matter what system or methodology you use to do it. The reason is that no one wants to meet someone who is miserable or spending their life doing things they don’t like.

So before you go out and try to meet men, you need to first figure out how to create a passionate lifestyle for yourself.

Think for a second about the kind of men to whom you are attracted. Most people are attracted to people who are positive, energetic and interesting. Now think about what type of person you are right now.

Are you that positive, energetic and interesting person I just described, or are you someone who is miserable and angry because you FEEL like you can’t meet someone?

It all starts with creating an amazing lifestyle for yourself, so that you feel great and will attract amazing men into your life.

And YOU DESERVE AMAZING MEN IN YOUR LIFE!

I want to get you started right now on creating your amazing lifestyle, so to give you a little incentive to get started – here are 5 ways that doing so will make you instantly more attractive to men:

***TIP #1: REEVALUATE YOUR WORK ENVIRONMENT***

One of the first (and most important) things you need to do to create an amazing lifestyle is to take a very critical eye to your current work environment. Because work is something most of us HAVE to do, we sometimes don’t expect that it is also something we can want to do (or at least not hate doing).

Think about your current work environment.

Do you have a boss who is consistently demeaning? Do you dislike most of your co-workers? Do you dread going into work every day?

If your work environment is toxic and causing you to be miserable, then it’s time to reevaluate whether it’s time for a change. If you are working in a toxic environment, consider whether you are staying there because you are comfortable and don’t want to have to push your own boundaries.

If you stay in a work environment that makes you miserable and angry, then understand that miserable and angry is what you are going to project to everyone
around you (whether you intend to or not), including to the people you have been trying to attract.

***TIP #2: DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE***

So many women go to places they believe they “should” go or “have to” go in order to meet men, but which are places they don’t enjoy being at all.

Is it really any wonder they have trouble meeting men in these places?

Instead of going to places where you’re not happy to try and meet men, pick five things YOU really love to do. Think about what your five favorite things are to do.

Then ask yourself whether there are men present at each of those five things. If not, then go deeper and find five things you’re either already interested in or about which you would like to learn.

Then go to any of these places to meet men. When you go to places that interest you, you’ll already have things to talk about and will naturally bond with people.

The reason you have trouble making conversation with men in a bar (or other places you may not enjoy being), is because when you’re someplace you really don’t like you have to manufacture conversations instead of just talking about what’s already interesting to you.

***TIP #3: BE OPEN***

Positive people are open to new experiences. So instead of expecting to meet men when you go out and getting totally disappointed if you don’t, be open to what the day or night might present to you.

Being open means talking to everyone with which you come into contact, and not only being friendly to men you find attractive. Just because you are not attracted to the person you’re talking to doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open and friendly.

You never know, for instance, if that person may have a friend they’re meeting later with whom you might end up totally connecting.

So be open to anything and everything, because people who are open to whatever presents itself to them always meet people. Remember that every connection you make with someone leads to another, and you never know what (or who) that next connection might bring into your life.

***TIP #4: FIND YOUR INNER CHILD***

Here is a concept that so many women do not understand and which keeps them from meeting men…

One of the biggest parts of being attractive to men is being approachable. That means when you go anywhere, don’t just “show up.”

You need to embrace the moment and approach everything with a child-like enthusiasm. Smile, talk to people, ask questions and ENJOY YOURSELF.

During a recent coaching weekend with several male clients, instead of just “taking them out to meet women” I took them to the beach and had them build sand castles. The reason I did this was to teach them how to have fun again and not to be so serious.

This concept is true for women too – If you’re serious when you try to meet men, then you’re not having fun and that is not attractive.

Life is about having fun just like you did when you were a kid. You are attractive when you’re enjoying yourself and your life.

***TIP #5: USE “THE LAW OF ATTRACTION”***

If you’ve been wondering how all these “public perception” type of tips relate to how attractive you will be to men – here’s where I will show you how the way you behave in public will affect how successful you will be at attracting men.

It’s called attraction for a reason…

When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you (including those men you’ve been
trying so hard to meet).

If you’re angry, you are going to attract angry people and you will spend your day in constant confrontations.

If you walk around in life having fun, having casual conversations and enjoying every step of the journey – even if you’re just running an errand to the market – you are going to attract great people into your life.

People are attracted to people having a good time and who are enjoying their life. No one wants to hang out with a person who is pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.

That’s why it’s so important if you want to attract men that you create a lifestyle.

Creating a lifestyle is all about learning to genuinely enjoy your life every day. Do things that you love and enjoy them.

Embrace every single moment.

By doing these things, you will NATURALLY START ATTRACTING MEN!

By being more open, not only will you start talking to more people but more people will notice your openness and start talking to you.

Being more open also makes you more memorable.

So why continue to chase after men you want to meet when you can start attracting them? YOU have the power within you right now to attract the men you want to meet RIGHT NOW and every day!

Create an amazing lifestyle and be passionate about the things you do, and you WILL start attracting men.

Start taking responsibility for your own dating life, and you’ll start improving it immediately!

You deserve to enjoy an amazing dating life.

If you want to learn more about how men REALLY think, and how to create a fun and amazing dating life where you will never again be confused by men, then click here for more information:

http://www.davidwygant.com/women.php?Clk=4407189
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MEN- To get articles, videos and tips from David Wygant on how you can attract women:

Men click here

By David Wygant, Dating Coach

==========================
EMAIL FROM A READER
==========================

“Dear David,

I want you to know how HARD I’ve been working practicing talking to women every day. I go out every day and make it my goal to find and talk to as many pretty women as possible. The problem is that I still don’t ever attract women if I don’t approach them first.

Why is that? What’s going on?

Shawn”

Let me tell you everyone, my reader Shawn — as well intentioned as he is — is making a critical mistake that so many of you make… …and it reflects a failure to understand a KEY and CORE understanding of how attraction works.

So here was my answer to Shawn…

==========================
MY ANSWER TO SHAWN’S EMAIL
==========================

Hey Shawn,

Thanks for your email! I first want to commend you for putting in the effort and work that you’re putting into mastering these skills…and you WILL get to where you want to be.

I promise!

The reason you’re having trouble is because you do not really understand how attraction works. One of the most common questions I get from both men and women is how they can become more attractive to members of the opposite sex.

The problem is that most people who struggle with attracting the opposite sex really don’t understand what creates attraction.

So what makes someone attractive to the opposite sex? What makes someone attractive in general?

As you know, Shawn, (and as anyone who is familiar with my work knows), one of the core principles I teach is that you need to put out good energy in order to attract people.

People are attracted to those who are positive, who smile, who are open and who are enjoying their life. People who walk around angry, unhappy and with closed body language will not attract anyone.

These are not new concepts to you or anyone who has read me, although they are always important enough to reiterate over and over again! 🙂

Here’s what is so interesting though.

Even people who understand this concept tend to make a mistake in how they try to apply this — and Shawn, you are one of those people.

This is where you are running into trouble… The number one mistake that men and women make when they go out and try to meet someone of the opposite sex is . . . that they go out to try and meet people of the opposite sex.

Sound familiar?

That is, they go out with laser focus trying to locate and talk to people they are attracted to while ignoring everyone else. If you understand what creates attraction, though, you know that it is created not just by how you interact with someone you want to attract but also by how you interact in general with the world around you.

Similarly, you attract members of the opposite sex not only by how you interact with them individually, but by how they see you interact with others.

In fact, although it may initially seem counterintuitive to you, you will actually begin to attract MORE members of the opposite sex the minute you stop focusing on trying to attract certain people and you start focusing on how to just become attractive in general.

To become really successful at meeting and connecting with members of the opposite sex, you need to really get this concept. Shawn, keep up the great work!

Until next time…

To get more free articles, videos and tips from David Wygant:

To get more free articles, videos and tips from David Wygant:

Men click here

Women click here

This article is written by David Wygant- Dating coach for Men and Women.  Get his contact info below/

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Let’s all admit it … First dates can be, well — kinda awful!

It’s not that you don’t like the girl you’re on the date with, and it’s not that you don’t want to HAVE the date at all…

It’s that first dates can feel tense, awkward, pressured, and downright stressful sometimes.

And to tell you the truth … I used to REALLY not have fun on a lot of first dates.

Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever felt like this about first dates?

So what’s going on here?

Well there is something that happens on a large numbers of first dates that really set a first date up for FAILURE (or at least make it as difficult as possible to have a great time)

So now let’s get back to talking about what can really KILL any potential for success on a first date.

What do you usually plan for a first date? I mean, where do you usually take your dates on a first date?

Hmmm… Let me guess…

Dinner? (and maybe a movie)

Putting aside the issue of this being a total cliché, it’s also about the WORST option you can choose for a first date.

And here’s why…

Actually, let me ask you a question first.

Why on earth would you take someone out for dinner on a first date … unless of course the woman is homeless and she needs a good meal?

To sit across from somebody and watch them chew down food while you tell each other the same stories you’ve told a hundred times is boring!

(It is also a cliché … Well, it is — so I had to say it even though I said I wouldn’t…)

The reason why most of us don’t enjoy dating is because we go out on dinner dates.

Now granted, having dinner with someone is fantastic when you’re with a person whose company you enjoy and with whom you already have some sort of relationship.

There’s one BIG difference though on a first date — Think about whether this is true or not …

(and I’m betting for you, like most of us, it is)

Being forced to sit at a table exchanging resumes with a total stranger is the reason why most of us don’t like to date, but yet we still conduct dinner dates.

So what are the alternatives to the boring clichéd dinner date?

Now before you get ready for me to bust out a numbered “Top Ten Things To Do Instead Of A Dinner Date” lists, though, it’s NOT because I think we have been ‘top 10 listed’ to death on the Internet.

PLUS…

It’s really time YOU figured out what YOU like to do, and also listened to what the person you’re interested in likes to do, so you can come up with clever dates.

Don’t worry, though, cause I am going to help get your thinking started and I am going to give you examples of some of the things I like to do.

By doing that, it will help you so you can make up your own personal list.

***DAVID’S FAVORITE FIRST DATES***

I like to check out new neighborhoods by walking around and checking out the stores. (That’s one of my favorite dates).

I like to do dragio – which is hiking and dragging my lazy dog up the hill. This is a great first date to just talk and enjoy the outdoors.

I enjoy going to art galleries.

I like to walk along the beach.

I enjoy going to fun coffee and tea shops and sampling new teas.

These are some of the things that I enjoy doing. So when I have a first date, I listen to what they like — then what I do is make the date fun.

You do this because, if you think about it, when you do get into a relationship with someone you will not spend every evening exchanging resumes over dinner.

You’re going to be doing things you both enjoy.

By picking something more interesting than dinner for a first date, you are also giving each other fun things to talk about while you’re shoppi ng together…

OR walking on the beach together… OR going to Target together… OR doing WHATEVER might be fun for you…

The reason why so many of us don’t like to date is because it is so formal.

Dinner dates are formal and boring. You spend the night evaluating each other, then you come home and you’re evaluating each other some more with your friends.

Activity dates are fun and memory-building.

(And any of you who are familiar with what I teach know how important I believe it is for you to be memorable in life …)

So instead of asking all of you to make a list of 50 great dates, I would like to have you concentrate on thinking of great first date ideas that YOU enjoy…

So now, unless you are dating a homeless woman who really needs to be fed, it’s time to get creative in your dating!

To get more free articles, videos and tips from David Wygant:

Men click here

Women click here