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It is time to open up that can of worms again! Every 8 or 9 months I start getting a bunch of emails regarding our age group policy and requirement of proof of age. Here are a few examples.

1) “Why are all the events listed with the men’s ages always slightly older?
than the women? Can’t you list them as the same age? My friends and I are
reluctant to go for fear there will be a bunch of old men there similar to
another experience we had with speed dating.”

2) “I was a little shocked to see that you have an event planned where the age for men is up to 65 and the women 58. Is this the dark ages? Many women go out with men younger than they are, and to have the upper limits 7 years apart seems out of date. They should be the same age. You are promoting the idea that the man should be older than the woman. You can be sure that if you say 65 for the men, you will have 75 year olds.”

So what is the deal?
One of the top questions each and every time someone calls to inquire is “How old are the people going to be at the event?” This is an important factor in determining whether most of you will participate in an event.

I refuse to mislead people regarding the ages of the participants attending Weekenddating.com events and take a hard stance on requiring proof of age at our events. Other companies have called this childish and not necessary. Before I started Weekenddating.com, I had attended other companies’ events and was royally pissed off that I was mislead about the ages of the other people I would be meeting.

So the ages of what we advertise is what is delivered. We do add a little flexibility and have a one year grace on the speed dating events, and a two year grace on non speed dating events.

Why are the ages of the women and men not the same at speed dating? This is unfair!!
I agree 1000% with the ladies who write in to complain that the ages on the speed dating are different for men and women. It is unfair!! And in an ideal world, the ages would be same.

However, I have tried on several occasions to run speed dating events with the ages the same. The result?? Cancelled events! I had plenty of women to participate, but not nearly enough men. Things have improved a lot in the 8 years I have been in business. Many more men are open to the idea of dating an older woman. However, in theory, the vast majority of men (80%) in my research, want to date a younger woman, while 50% of women, prefer to date an older man.

When we have non regular speed dating activity events (mingles, speed bowling etc), the ages are set the same and the events run great. People are attending mostly because they enjoy the activity in question and meeting someone special is an added bonus. They are less concerned with the ages than with our regular speed dating events.

The bottom line is this: The ages of the women and men should be the same for a speed dating event. It is unfair, but from a business perspective, I need to make sure that enough attendees participate. Once people are AT THE EVENT, age becomes much less important. However, a determining factor in whether someone will register and go to an event, is the age of the participants. I refuse to mislead people with the age groups, mix multiple age groups together.

Jay,

Would you please consider the topic of where to go on a first date a discussion for your blog. Please ask people to be as specific as possible as to great places to go and what to do.

Secondly, if we are having a good time on our date, what are some ideas to extend the date for another 1 to 3 hours.

Thanks very much.

Mark

From Tesh.com

Make The Most of Online Dating

One business that wasn’t dented by the recession was online dating. According to The New York Times, a lot of people seek out companionship when times are toughest. Dating coach Evan Mark Katz says looking for love is like looking for a job – it takes time and hard work to find the perfect fit. Here’s how to make the most of online dating, courtesy of ABC News:

•First, don’t use adjectives in your profile like “kind,” “fun-loving” and “curious.” They mean nothing because everyone uses them. Instead, paint a detailed picture of yourself with specific examples. Katz says profiles with vivid details get more, higher-quality responses. So, instead of saying, “I love traveling.” Try, “I love the sidewalk cafés in Barcelona.”

•Also, pick a good user name, one that showcases your personality, hobbies and passions, and can spark a conversation. For example, avoid straightforward user names like “Bob 101” – and try something creative, like “Steelers Fan.”

•Another online dating tip: Pick a good profile picture. Pictures that show you doing something get the best response – because it’s a natural talking point. So a picture of you windsurfing will get more responses than you sitting and smiling on a bench.

•Also, match your picture to the person you want to meet. So if you want a serious relationship, don’t post pictures of yourself partying. If you want an outdoorsy person, post that picture from your last camping trip.

•Finally, write a winning first email. Start with a smart subject line that’ll make the reader want to see more. Like, “Your profile says you like hiking. My favorite local trail is dot-dot-dot.” In the email itself, don’t try to sell yourself. Katz says your goal is to be amusing by commenting on something in their profile. If you can make someone smile in four lines, you won’t have to persuade them to get in touch – they’ll do it automatically.

From Soyouwanna.com

Clothes make the man. This mantra has been drilled into your head time and time again, but many of you out there are still not listening. When it comes to fashion know-how, most men are 1) too cheap, 2) too clueless, or 3) simply don’t care (these are the men whose mommies laid their clothes out for them).

You can no longer continue walking around looking like a mess, so for some help, we turned to our very own fashion guru, Stan Williams, the fashion editor of MAXIM magazine, for some tips on how to get your wardrobe in shape so you can start stepping out with style.

Stan makes a compelling case on the importance of a well-dressed man:

“I think that women recognize a man who dresses well – they can pick that guy out of the crowd. He’s not necessarily dressed expensively or crazily, he’s a guy who’s dressed well and looks neat. If a man cares about the way he looks, it is obvious to other people that he’s got something going on for himself and that he will probably be a better date.”

-Stan Williams, Fashion Maven

In other words, man + good wardrobe = dates with women! Got your attention now? Thought so.

And if you’re lucky enough to have a business casual dress policy at work, many of our tips can be applied to your office wardrobe as well. (By the way, if you’re in the market for a suit, you must check out “SYW Buy a Men’s Suit?” And excuse our occasional plugs. We’re shameless.)

By the way, this article is for beginners who want some simple secrets for building a basic wardrobe and improving their general appearance-it’s not meant to turn you into a trendy hipster overnight. So you’ll find no references to long fur coats, shiny shirts, or updated cowboy hats. Who do you think you are, *NSYNC?

2. Clean Out Your Closet
You’ve graduated from college. You’re out in the real world now and it’s time to trade in your T-shirts and Tevas for a sophisticated, stylish, adult wardrobe. Yes, we know it’s hard to let go of that worn-out flannel shirt you wore during finals in school, but what looked good in 1993 just doesn’t cut it now, Cobain.

If you have a friend (male or female) who is fashion capable, have him/her help you go through your closet and toss out anything that is outdated and/or objectionable. Of course you can keep that trusty old flannel shirt for sentiment’s sake, but refrain from wearing it out in public.

Just in case you need some additional help, we feel compelled to tell you that the following items in your closet must be burned immediately:

* Anything that is neon, stonewashed, or acid-washed.
* T-shirts featuring the words “Big Johnson,” “Co-ed Naked,” “Whassup,” or any popular catchphrases.
* Tapered-leg high-waisted pants that are heavy on the pleats (Cavariccis, anyone?).
* Tie-dyed garments with dancing bears. You’re living in the past, man.
* M.C. Hammer pants. You’re living in the past, man.

A word about fit

Stan, our fashion expert, preaches that one of the biggest fashion mistakes men make is wearing clothes that don’t fit properly. From casual wear to suits, clothes that are too tight or too baggy are big fashion gaffes.

* Even if you can bounce a quarter off of your stomach, wearing tight clothing just looks tacky. Some men think that if they wear pants that are too small, it’ll make them look skinnier. Rather, it’s just an effective method of damaging your intestines and gonads. So use the two-finger test: if you can’t easily stick two fingers (sideways) into the waist of your pants, they’re too tight.

* Unless you’re an extra in a Puff Daddy video, wearing big, baggy clothes
looks sloppy and gives the impression that you don’t care about your appearance. You know your clothes are too baggy when they continually get caught on doorknobs or small children. You should never have to continually hike your pants
up throughout the day.

Most retail and department stores will do alterations, so seek out a professional to make sure you’re buying clothes that fit properly.

And if you don’t already, you should consider subscribing to a men’s fashion magazine such as MAXIM (not only do we plug ourselves, we plug our gurus). If you don’t want to pay for a year’s subscription, at least grab an issue off the rack at the start of each season just to see what’s new in fashion. Don’t forget to pay for it.

3. Buy Some Basics

You want to look good from head to toe, but there’s a good chance that you’re on a budget. So we’re going to start you off with a few “must-have” basics to get your wardrobe rolling. Then, as your wallet expands, so can your wardrobe.Where should you go to buy your fancy new duds? Department stores such as Bloomingdale’s and Macy’s offer one-stop shopping for those of you who loathe shopping. Trusty retail stores such as Banana Republic and J. Crew are always safe bets (especially if you don’t mind the “preppy” look). If you prefer a hipper look, check out stores such as French Connection and Club Monaco.

Here’s a big tip on how to save money: Everything at retail stores eventually goes on sale, usually at the end of a season. For example, summer clothes will go on sale in late August. Be careful though. Sales are good for items that are basic staples (e.g., khaki pants, dress shirts, T-shirts), but not for trendier items that were popular at the start of a season but not appropriate to wear the next year.

Once you’ve determined where you want to shop, it’s time to start building your wardrobe with these basic items:

Shirts
Pants
Shoes
Accessories (belts, ties, watches, jewelry)

Shirts

* Stan insists that you must own at least one crisp, white, high-quality, cotton shirt-you just can’t go wrong with it. Buy one with a full-fashion collar that you can use with a collar stay and that can be worn with a tie. This way you can wear this shirt to work or out at night. Button-up dress shirts are generally good choices, as long as you buy one that is high-quality and a nice color. And since you’re building the basics, stick with colors like blue and white.

* You also can’t go wrong with a high, V-neck sweater made of a quality material. Try Merino wool, or if you’re really in the mood to splurge, cashmere says class and it feels great against the skin. V-neck sweaters look great for dates and dinners, and for casual dress days at work.

* Also, be sure to wear a short-sleeve, white T-shirt under your shirts and sweaters. Not only does this protect your tops from sweat and deodorant stains, it makes you look adult-y and fashion-y.

Pants

If you’re on a budget, there are three pairs of pants that you must purchase: a pair of dress pants, a pair of khakis and a pair of blue jeans.

* Dress pants. Most men don’t own dress pants unless they are suit pants, but even if you own suits, you need a separate pair of dress pants. You might be tempted to go for a standard black pair, but navy blue is very modern while still being non-flashy. Stan says, “Black is a safe bet.” Exactly. A safe bet, but Stan also notes that navy says that you might know a little something about style.

If you wear suits to work, go ahead and splurge on a really nice (that is, expensive) pair of dress pants and get them professionally tailored. You will wear them all the time and it will be worth the investment. It’s better to have one nice pair of pants instead of five cheap pairs.

* Khakis. For a more casual look, you need to have a nice pair of khaki or light-colored pants. It’s a good idea to have a couple pairs of these pants because you can just wash them and iron them at home (or if you’re particularly lazy, get a pair of wrinkle-free khakis). Then if you’re in a hurry, you will always have a clean pair to toss on.

* Blue jeans. When purchasing jeans, Stan suggests buying a nice pair of dark wash jeans with a clean cut and style. Make sure they fit nicely (that is, don’t buy ultra baggy jeans or jeans that aren’t a standard length). Dark jeans will always look good and can be dressed up at night.

A general rule of thumb for any type of pants you purchase is not to buy pants with pleats-stick with flat front pants. They have cleaner lines and just look neater. Also avoid anything fancy, so that your pants can be stretched throughout your wardrobe without anybody noticing. For instance, if you only own one pair of khakis and they are really flashy, people will notice if you wear them all the time. The horror! However, if you buy a standard pair of plain khaki pants, no one will notice if you wear them all the time; they’ll just assume that you have five pairs of khakis.

Shoes

Whereas women are required to have at least two dozen pairs of shoes, men usually own a measly two pairs: a pair of sneakers for bumming around and a pair of dress shoes for work. But, can you guess what one of the first things a woman notices about a man is? It’s not your charming personality, it’s your shoes.

* If you want pointers on buying the perfect pair of sneakers, we’ve got you covered with an entire SYW on the subject.

* Buying dress shoes is slightly more complicated. First off, you should be prepared to pay at least $125. Sounds hefty, but remember, quality over quantity. You can wear the best outfit in the world, but if your shoes suck, you might as well be wearing a potato sack.

* Stan tells us, “There is absolutely no excuse for wearing shoes that are not polished or one where the heel has worn off or the leather looks worn.” He also says, ideally, your shoes will match your belt which will match your briefcase. Nothing looks worse than a brown belt worn with a black pair of shoes and a tan briefcase. Except if all three are covered with hearts and unicorns.

A few dressy-ish options:

* Boots. If you can only afford to purchase one more pair of shoes, Stan prefers that you go with a black leather boot. We don’t mean a cowboy boot or a pair of Doc Martens; we’re talking about a boot that is an inch or two above your ankle with a nice heel and a conservative, round-capped toe. This way you can wear them both for work and for going out at night.

* Slip-ons. If you are morally opposed to boots, Stan’s suggested alternative is a pair of nice leather slip-on shoes. These shoes are sort of loafer-ish, and they have a high vamp that covers your socks.

* Tied. If you prefer shoes that tie, look for a nice pair of leather shoes with a toe that is more square than round. Try to find a pair that is casual enough for khakis, but nice enough for dress pants. Avoid dress shoes with tassels or buckles.

* Slides. Even if you practice good grooming, most men have unattractive feet. So, in the summer, while you might be tempted to wear sandals, it’s best for men to keep their toes covered at all times unless you live in Rome and carry a shield. For the two men on this planet who have good-looking feet, you are allowed to purchase a nice pair of leather slides if you are dying to flaunt your toes.

Accessories (belts, ties, watches, jewelry)

While there isn’t a lot of variety in men’s clothing, accessories are an opportunity to individualize your look. Belts, ties, watches and jewelry can sometimes be even more expensive than the suit you are wearing, but you don’t need many of them, and you don’t necessarily have to spend a fortune. Here’s the lowdown on how to put the finishing touches on your outfit:

* Belts. You need two belts: one for dress pants and one for khakis and jeans (never wear your dress belt with your casual pants or vice versa). Also, your casual belt should be wider than your dress belt.

* Ties. You can have fun with your tie collection, but keep up with the trends. If skinny ties are in, then take a gulp and go buy a skinny tie for that season-but that season only. Try to avoid cartoon ties or polyester. They’re dorky. And learn to properly tie the thing by watching this video on How to Tie a Tie.

* Watches. Buy the nicest watch you can afford. If you only buy one watch, buy a simple, classy watch that will match with anything. Avoid bells and whistles. Don’t buy a diving watch or a sports watch, unless you are a diving instructor or an athlete. In that case, buy a second watch.

* Jewelry. Aside from wearing a watch and the occasional pair of cufflinks, jewelry should be kept to a minimum. Unless you are married, you shouldn’t wear rings unless it’s a class ring (and even that is questionable). If you wear a chain, keep it simple, and only wear one (or a group of rogue disco dancers may start to boogie around you).

From Tesh.com

Keep Your New Romance From Burning Out

A new romance can fizzle fast if you don’t handle it right. So here’s how to make sure the spark lasts, past the first rush of attraction. This comes from psychologist Dr. Ian Kerner, author of the book D.S.I.: Date Scene Investigation.

•Dr. Kerner’s advice: Strike a balance. You may meet, instantly fall in love, and see each other every day for a week, but then, real life sets in and you get busy. That right there can kill a new romance. Dr. Kerner says there’s a momentum to the courtship process. It takes off at a high velocity that can be hard to maintain. So even if you think she’s “the one,” pace yourself. Don’t see each other every day, but do stay on each other’s radar. So instead of dropping by her office at lunch, check in with a text message. If either of you starts doubling up on unreturned messages or voicemails, it just seems desperate. That’s when you know to back off.

•The next piece of advice from Dr. Kerner: There’s only one way to sum up your past relationships. Quickly. Have a two-second summary of your former relationship ready to go. “We had fun, but we wanted different things” – that’s it.” Complaining about a past relationship shows you’re still fixated on that failure, and bragging about a great past relationship can seem like an attempt to pump up your own self-image. So keep it short and move on.

•The last piece of advice for a new relationship: Take it slow. Unhealthy levels of codependency can take root early on. Dr. Kerner says a relationship is about opening up your personal boundaries – but it should be a gradual process. So encourage her to make her own plans and keep her own friends – and do the same yourself. It’s easy to get sucked in at the beginning, with the rush of falling in love, but the sooner you depend on each other for everything, the faster the relationship will burn out.

Myths About Being Single from Tesh.com

Singletons: Are you sick of your married friends trying to set you up on blind dates, because they think you’re lonely, unhappy or unhealthy? Next time they try to set you up, hit them with this list of myths about being single, from psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo. We found this on Match.com:

•Myth #1: Single people are self-centered and lonely. Believe it or not, research has shown that single people tend to have the strongest social networks. They’re also more likely to visit and support family, friends and neighbors, compared to married people. Dr. DePaulo says it’s because singles have more free time to forge many diverse relationships, while couples devote most of their time to each other.

•Myth #2: Singles aren’t as healthy as married people. The thinking here is that singles spend a lot of time partying, drinking, and eating junk food, so they can’t be as healthy as couples who eat more home-cooked meals. Know this: If you’re married and your spouse is overweight, a study found that your risk of also becoming obese jumps by 37% . That kind of couples’ “peer pressure” doesn’t affect single people.

•Myth #3: Singles don’t live as long as married people. Actually, in one of the largest studies on longevity ever conducted, people who stayed single lived just as long as people who stayed married. Researchers say it was the people who constantly jumped around, from one relationship to another, who had the shortest lives of all. That suggests consistency – not marriage – is the key to living a longer life.

•Myth #4: Single people waste a lot of money on themselves. The fact is, statistics show that singles are more generous about spending money on their family and friends, compared to married people. Singles are far less likely to be in deep credit card debt for one simple reason: They never have to pay for a wedding!

From Tesh.com

You’ve Heard of Speed Dating. Now There’s Weed Dating.

You’ve heard of speed dating, where you chat with a potential “mate” for, say, three minutes before you move on to the next person. Well, now there’s “weed dating.” No – it’s not about illegal drugs. It’s about meeting people while you – literally – pull weeds. According to USA Today, the concept was the brainchild of Jean and Wendy Palthey, a pair of married farmers in Tunbridge, Vermont. They point out that single farmers often have trouble meeting other singles because they don’t work a typical 9 to 5 schedule. It’s nice to be doing something constructive together while you get to know each other – instead of staring at each other across a restaurant table. So, they decided to help a single friend and a few local farmers by setting up “weed and meets.”

Participants pay $10, and wear a tag with their first name along with their favorite vegetable. “Ann Artichoke, meet Bill Broccoli.” The most recent “weed dating” session occurred in a field of corn and onions. Participants weeded a row with a potential romantic interest. Every seven minutes a bell rang, and everyone got up, shook muddy hands, and moved to a new row, and another partner. They asked the usual questions like, “Where’d you grow up?” and “What do you do for a living?” They discussed topics like gardening and farming, educating kids about where food comes from, and whether bartering is a better economic model than capitalism. At the end of the day, the field was freshly weeded, and the couples in question could see each other again – if they were both interested. There you have it – “weed dating.”

A few months ago, I joined Match.com and would find some ad’s that “smelled funny.” The “supposed women” were not trying to direct me to another site to join so that they made money, but they usually were trying to get me to correspond with them outside of the personal ad site and through a yahoo, hotmail or aol account. They do this because they will get thrown off the personal ad site pretty soon.

But why??

I always suspected that I knew why, but watching a rerun special report on Identity thieves from MSNBC http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKCCIZQRg5U, put everything in perspective.

The short story, is that their are people out there in foreign countries who are trying to get American men and women to fall for them online. Once they have them “hooked” they get these people to play middlemen in illegal activities and ship stolen merchandise overseas.

So lets take a look at some clues that a woman’s personal ad profile may be fake.

1) The pictures are just to damn hot. I don’t consider myself a bad looking guy, but when I would get emails from women who were a 13 on a scale of 1-10, the red flag goes up. Interestingly, there seems to be shift where these fake profiles are moving away from using the non believable hot pics, to just regular pictures of everyday attractive women

2) Look at the age range guys- When a women lists 18-65 of the age of a man she is looking for, then something MAY be up.

3) Look at the height requirement the woman lists- If she has 3-0 to 7-11, this is another sign of a possible fake ad

4) Broken English, poor grammar- This alone can not indicate that an ad is fake, since there are some great ladies who are new to this country and are still learning English. However, if this red flag shows up in conjunction with 1-3 listed above, proceed at your own risk.

Personal ads can be a great way to meet someone special, but just be careful and if something seems to good to be true, then it probably is.

From Tesh.com

Debt Is The Number One Deal Breaker for Couples

Are you in a relationship? Then, you’ll want to know the number one deal breaker for today’s couples: it’s debt. According to Yahoo Finance, more and more couples are breaking up because of it. The average person has $8,000 in credit card debt, plus $20,000 in student loans. Even though we’ve never been more maxed out, couples are discovering that breaking the bank means breaking up.

For example, when Allison Eastman told her fiancé that she owed close to $200,000 in student loans, he broke off their engagement within three days. She was devastated, and says it never occurred to her that debt could be a deal breaker, something as serious as discovering your partner doesn’t want children or is a drug addict. That’s because debt carries more than hefty interest rates; it raises tricky questions.

For example, if your partner brings massive debt to a relationship, and they lose their job, are you on the hook to repay it? If you pool your resources and start making monthly payments on their debt, will you start resenting them over time? So, if you’re the one in debt, when should you break the news to your significant other?

Divorce lawyer Susan Reach Winters suggests by the 10th date, because breaking the news that you’re in debt is as serious as telling them you have a chronic disease. That’s because it affects every financial decision, from buying a home, to financing a car, to having children. If you’d like to find ways to get a handle on your debt, try the website NationalFoundationforCreditCounseling.org.